Let us first have a reading from the Spiked Koolaid Version of the Holy UnTrollible.
KJV-ish1Pet.1.17 “And if you call upon Him as Father Who judges each one impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile.”
Now from the Untrollable Word of our lord Keal,
SKV: “And if ye trolleth upon thy Lord Keal, he shall smite thee with thou banhammer of fury, without respect for each trolls’ troll. So troll thouselves with fear throughout the bye-week of thy Frexile.”
Friends, brevren, SKAsians, my fellow fugitives and Frexiles of the bye-week, lend me your boss’ time! What’s another couple of chuckles after all these years, amiright? Obviously somebody is not counting. No wonder we are about to elect… i digress,
We’ve had a great famine in the NFCWest! Or so Fred’s told. RlolW burst forth from his chastity belt, causing something ridiculously sad to be unveiled across the entire Pacific Northwest. A deeper gloom has arrived upon the tincan prison yard, where they previously shared adderall riots and inhumane levels of hubris. Westies, the Legion of Gloom is hungover. They’ve finally crashed, spun-out and shit-stained by ill gotten riches. Mocked wildly across the 12 non-boycotting NFL fan tribes for the same they were once celebrated for. They haven’t seen a touchdown pass in 4 dog years, which is how RlolW counts his ages.
Arizona, well, they’ve all but evaporated, plum dried up! Last sight of DHC, somebody saw him running with the goal post over yonder dune… Their flagship website went titts-up. Now our adversary wanders to and fro, mfaX, like a trolling lion. And the rest, a long sojourn in the scorching desert, thirsty for coordinated football plays and basic self esteem. Cardinal-colored Zombies, half dead carrion’s, gliding down, down, down…
And there was a team in St. Louis, where they went, nobody knows. Who to this day remain lost, without a football hope, somewhere on the way to Los Angelas. Where they go, God knows. Do not fear when trolling in the shadow of valley of the Stache, cuz contractually speaking the team only has to get half way to it’s goal. Store urine for drinking, the 8-8-Pocalypse is UPON US!
Aye, O Keal, and who dare speak of the comic tragedy in San LaClara(?), a rebellion of the evil Jesuit hench Jed York. He’s called dark forces into play; he’s formed a boiling cauldron around his players. The 4Xers defenders have all been struck with blindness, quarterbacks have gone colorblind, GMs have lost their cotton-picking mind. All the scarlet and gold have transgressed the gods of football! My beloved SKAsians, it has come to pass that friendship with the NFCWest is enmity with lord Keal. We are castouts now, strangers in a strange land; We are Frexiles.
Where football comments dodge the landmines of hillary won’t win x1000% memes that are too true to laugh with anymore. We are waterless trolls patrolling the desert seeking refuge from the great week 8 blight. Let us never forget this day, for when we reach the promise land, Keal will have wins for everybody! There will be no more wins, no more losses, only 6-6 TIES!! Katy Perry will be-there-with-wings-on, jiggling in all her glory. /gif . LATT fans will no longer cry, for everybody will by 0-16-0.
Yet, on the other hand, it was another victorious 4Xers bye-week. Few more of these and we’ll make the playoffs!
IN RELATED NEWS
A man in the PNW did find “a nugget of weed that looks like the image of Jesus.” Reports are he thanked the Lord and ripped it to his dome until he saw the glass firmament for the first time with his own eyes. “For all foods are made holy by prayer and thanksgiving.” Praise the Lord!
IN INDIA
There is reported “talk about how a round globe is fake because the great North Korean Kim Jong wasnt able to escape the atmosphere with his space program. NASA is a fraud.” This was translated from Punabi, soo…
UNTIL FRIDAY
http://deadspin.com/the-warriors-are-the-best-team-ever-and-they-can-eat-s-1761305524
http://www.si.com/nba/2016/04/13/golden-state-warriors-bulls-patriots-yankees-regular-season-history
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/14/474173953/golden-state-warriors-complete-best-season-in-nbas-70-year-history
STINKY AND THE BRAIN
What are we going to do today, Fred.
Same thing we do every day, Stinky, try to TROLL THE GLOBE!
Yea, we endure, hoping forward, to week 9. Till then, say your trolls and may lord Keal like your posts. Next week Freddy and The Frexiles resurrect, bearing wins and likes and high fives all around. Godspeed, Frexiles.
Top Dawg™
Dum