Frednesday: Call The Whole Band Together

    744 744 chriskeal

    So it’s been a long time since your Fred done left ya.
    Don’t worry he returns from his journey well rested.

    Here to pump SKA the old familiar way
    Barbed Insults, snide trolling: The spiked kool-aid family way.

    MotherKeal called me back into this light
    FPS Pray For Us, we toll the troll King tonight

    Note from the editor: I did in fact, ask him to pray for us Monday night.

    told you i’d be watching and listening with care
    for that day, when it came; to Make SKA great again !

    Welcome to Frednesday ! Fredaholics git yer fix !
    We gonna drop helicopter-leg-drops on this bitch

    Brethren, today we regather what was once scattered. You, you don’t know who you are. You are not the rag-tag gaggle of sock-puppets i see lying used at my feet. Nay, you have forgotten from whence you have fallen. You are the terror of the dark web. You broke ESPN. You literally reworked the American economy, trolling simple sports fans. Remember we spilled out onto like a virus bursting forth it’s legions of infectious cells? We were glorious in our mayhem. You caused divorces. You ended jobs.

    You ruined lives. I heard there was a suicide.

    Did you guys know i drank myself to death here, with you all? Then when i sobered up and turned to the truth, you all turned on your King.

    But the man don’t wear this crown for nothin’.

    I have a King’s heart. My mercies trump my judgments. I have always loved you. I never left. I was watching from afar. There are men here who hold pieces of my heart, and i will never tell them, because they will troll me to death over it. You were more than a host of mine armies, you were my friends.

    • Munkey will also return, and he will love it.
    • Pineapple shall frolic through the memes, giggling again.
    • Scotti will forgive.
    • MotherKeal will burst forth her bountiful pap, so i can suckle.
    • The Golden Boner will fill mine with knowledge.
    • Triberius will once again enchant the viper pit.
    • SacSig will lose again his training wheels.
    • Charlie the fake jew will come out as muslim the whole time; possibly detonating himself inside the gameday chat; for mass casualty affect. Little seditious Jihadi. Vagabond, Bedouin, Gypsy. Stop stealing kids, you jinn coated carnie !
    • OSS will resuscitate, and create a new tag line. Damn CIA operative. That’s a high level scheme you got there, acting half retarded all day, Mr. Potato Head. I bet you’re the only real woman on the board.

    Which reminds me, I CANNOT get over imagining Lisa neked. I don’t get it. It’s like, freckles on the titties? The possibilities are endless. Ginger headed little freak. Big orange waves of dehydrated head mane. I don’t know what it is. I just can’t get over it; whenever she’s here, baiting the simple and lonely.

    Which reminds me, Rest in Peace, DHC. It’s pretty sad. I drank myself to death too; and i been to a funeral or two of somebody who didn’t survive it. The eulogy of a drunk is the most confounding thing you’ll ever experience. Nobody can agree. Nobody called him. Nobody knew. He was always a fuck up.
    He was legitimately a full blown nazi, skinhead, white supremacist, and i think he was like American Indian and Mexican. Is that right? Men, we aren’t a gaggle of sock-puppets. Never were. No more of this. If a guy comes on here saying he’s giving up drinking, encourage him. We are all getting old enough now to have graduated the frat. I know OSS just got out of CIA greenie school, but the rest of you are grown ups. Troll one another as you would have your brethren troll you. I give you a new commandment.

    Bader literally pulled his head up from a pool of coke when i walked in. ‘Sup… Rails??

    • Tigre will return, not angry at women. But let’s be honest, it’s prolly healthy for him, though, at this point, if he is.
    • MFAZ shall fly again. We need somebody that retarded to set the low bar, or we’ll tear each other to pieces. It’s an unfortunate, double-edged blade, truly, but we need MFAZ. But he doesn’t get to drop the Z. That’s for princehood.
    • No shoes will tapdance in.
    • Seattle will don pants.
    • Arizona will clean house.
    • LA will move to OAK.
    • SF will become an expansion franchise. The Fremont Flaming Hijabs !
    • The east board will be subsumed, and they will all be forced to donate actual fucking money to actually fucking MotherKeal, and join our board. We will unify under MotherKeal’s Judgement, and my priesthood. The King of the Trolls has transcended into spiritual advisory, and Frednesday Fireballs !

    If you come for this brand, ya best come correct
    the best to test the champ, have all been decked

    The night is far gone, Behold, the daystar brightens
    Uniting as one, this great troll army arises.

    We will stand, We will Banquet

    Above The Whole Internet – Vanquished !


    If Fred pens it, the Pineapple with come.



    All stories by: chriskeal

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.