Welcome Back!
This Frednesday we sing Fredemtions songs, explore an image-less format due to excessive vagina drippings on the SKA floor, we ask Seattle how the suicide watch goes, we wonder why Mexico got an NFL team before St Louis, we remind Seattle that Kevin Durant never liked any of them, we talk about Arizona as if it’s not a worthless desert crawling with meth-roused Bedouins, we ask Seattle if they’ve seen Earl Thomas, and remind you liberals that we will never have a woman president!
Welcome Back! Blow the Trumps! It’s Frednesday again! Sing for Fredemption!!
SEATTLE Bye
FREDNESDAY No bye
Yeah, did you guys buy some class on your week off? Trade smokes for a shiv? Seattle didn’t play this week, but that has no bearing on Frednesday. It’s like free shots at a man not present to defend himself; like making fun of HawaiianHonkey while he’s on here. Open game on the defenseless.
In related news, Oliver is now a Seattle fan.
In related news, the knife came out fine.
When seattle is let out for YARD time next week, we learn that adderall has a tolerance issue. Sigh. As in, it stops working.
BUFF 30
LA 19
Big win for us here! Good job Los Hangelees. Circle the taco trucks! Nobody circles the taco trucks like THE Los Hanjeleez Hrams! ARIBA ARIBA.
Losers. Bradford can see you guys are cockeyed, and he literally can’t see level. You know how you can look at a picture frame and see if it’s level? He can’t – He has a stray eyeball. But why am i bagging on Sam ‘The Wonkey Eyed Interception Factory’ Bradford still? you guys suffered a huge injury! OF all your miserable eight-and-eight’s, this one is going to be most horrific. Keep your head up, though; this year seems to be exceeding contractual obligations for El Mustachio Del Grande, i mean, cuz a coaching change would be so traumatico.
El Cookie Sweeper del Grande.
/tattoo: “8-8-4-LYFE”
For coaching support dial: 1-884-LYFE [Por Inglis, depresse el numero dos. Gracias. GO Los Hanjeleez Hrams! ARIBA ARIBA!!]
tldr; Rams met expectations and gave giggles.
ARI 33
4Xers 21
Stanton threw 2 TDs to Fitz. They had a fat man in a defensive lineman costume intercept a pass from THE BLAINE at the line of scrimmage. One of the 2 men contributed their talent, work ethic, and steely reserve to deliver on his goods, while the fat dude scored positive fantasy points for his team – but only because NOBODY HAS OUR QB ON THEIR FANTASY TEAM.
Well all that ends now…
/que Entrance music (drums of war, arabian strings, blood curling hollering)
/smoke, thunderings, lightnings
/camera zoom in; through the smoke emerges a man on the Red Horse of Revelation. He’s a man in tights, his appearance is like the Iron Sheik, kissing his biceps. He’s draped in Armani and men’s cologne, and he rides a cloud of the fog of liberal orgasms.
/que 72 prancing virgins and a statistical run for the record books
I opened the nfl.com homepage to see the headline, “A CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION” and 9 stories about this. It seems the pretty boy turned heel will be leading this massacre of a franchise into the great tribualation of Faithful 4Xer Fans. They can all burn to death in the direct sun for all i care. I don’t know who designed that stadium but they sure as shit didn’t read the book of Revelation.
Or maybe they did?
Can’t believe these people paid thousands of work hours to wildly cheer their shame and poor financial huckster discernment in front of a national audience, in the direct face of the noon-day once-in-creation judgement fire sun, 8 times a year. I don’t know who i’d fire first. But it looks like ColinX will get his redemption call, and if were a betting man, i’d bet we make the playoffs, and he kneels on freedom through the whole thing.
Ya smell that? That’s the smell of Fredemption in the morning…
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery
None but our self can free our mind
Have no fear for atomic energy
‘Cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall dey kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look?
Some say it’s just a part of it
We’ve got to fulfill de book
Won’t you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
‘Cause all I ever had
Redemption songs
All I ever had
Redemption songs
These songs of freedom
Songs of freedom
Make the Niners Great Again
u suck cock