K1 PRESENTS: NFCW OTA Headlines

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    Cardinals:

    1. Carson Palmer To Be Inducted Into Cardinals Ring Of Honor alongside Keal’s Jetta which has seen more oil changes than Cardinals wins.
    2. Orlovsky: Murray ‘one of the great all-time QB prospects’ if not for his micropenis.
    3. He’s the leader’: Cardinals teammates react to Patrick Peterson attending voluntary OTAs after PED scandal involving the use of Bosley hair products he received from a morbidly obese man in Mesa, Arizona.

    49ers:

    1. NaVorro Bowman Retires from NFL as a Member of the 49ers esteemed ‘Career’s Shortened Due to Steroids’ Ring of Honor
    2. What’s Wes Welker key coaching point for 49ers Dante Pettis? Always film the opposing team’s practices.
    3. How 49ers’ revamped pass rush can help John Lynch pass Macroeconomics II.

    Rams:

    1. Rams’ Todd Gurley won’t be every-down back because of knee, report says. K1 is on suicide watch.
    2. Aqib Talib raves about Eric Weddle after the veteran safety introduced the secondary unit to HGH.
    3. Jared Goff knows Rams have to ‘adjust on the fly’ quicker. The QB admits that he can’t rely on the HC holding his hand on the field throughout games.

    Seahawks:

    1. Seahawks rebrand the Sea Gals to male-inclusive dance team for BKOB.
    2. Seahawks tight end Jacob Hollister impressing coaches so far in his ability to fear no one.

    Packers’ news for the Dumbest and most Useless Moderator on the website:

    1. Torn Achilles won’t slow Packers coach LaFleur. The rookie coach has now found a purpose for McCarthy’s masseuse.
    2. As NFL QBs chug beer, Aaron Rodgers points to his superior ‘talent’ in other areas such as fellatio on his teammates.
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    chriskeal

    All stories by: chriskeal
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