K1 PRESENTS: Profiles in Courage: An Ode to Rant

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This is the debut article in perhaps what could be a series of articles. This chapter is dedicated to NFC East vagabond “Rant”. He is also known as move37, “shitrant”, Gabriel and a few other aliases which elude me right now. A true enigma to be certain, we will try to get to the bottom of the bottomless pit that is the place he finds his material to cut and paste.

The Great Migration

Once upon a time, SKA’s Architect Chris Keal decided it was time to collect the SKA Taxes. For years, he had paid for us all to use this fine website to continue lively discussions. Upon simply requesting members to donate a small amount of money, a revolt in the notoriously clammed up NFC Board broke out. Most chose that instead of putting their EBT benefits at risk by donating to SKA, they would just go to a place known as “slack”. This fine location was great for a board that notoriously was only active 4-6 hours a day. However, some could not bear to leave SKA. Mosley and Beaster had frequented the West board previously. However, Rant and his compatriot Justin did not want to Slack full time. As such, both became full time members of the West board. The refugees had found a home. All was at peace, right? Well, not quite…

Sports, Politics and Revenge Level 10 – The Rant Experience

Rant was out to prove that not only could he provide family recipes to the West board, but he was also actively looking to engage in political discourse – in ADDITION to sports! Sadly as time went on, Rant came to realize that he had some irreconcilable differences with several members of the board. His wars with board conservatives and alt right lunatics led him to one conclusion: As revenge, he would BLOCK them! No longer was he interested in discussion. He knew he was right and they were wrong. It was time for REVENGE! Sadly I was collateral damage in his nuclear war. I had simply pointed out the crimes of the CCP, and it did not fit within his world view. He hates Russia, and with good reason. But his media has told him time and time again that it is RACIST to point out bad things that the Chinese Communist Party does. He thought his nuclear block first strike was 100% effective, until one sad day recently:

In spite of his mammoth intelligence … I was able to trick Rant that I was indeed his friend Justin. This went on for days until I informed Rant about the whole sordid affair. Even after the truth was revealed, he still was confused. How could he have blocked me and STILL seen my posts? Rant will have to scour some old episodes of “Unsolved Mysteries” to perhaps find an answer. Another unsolved mystery is what NFL team Rant actually has any sort of emotional investment in. The Cowboys? Browns? His parlay of the week? Part of his mystique is using weasel words so you can’t really pin him down on any one thing.

In ending, I hope Rant at least finds this article somewhat entertaining. Perhaps he will find a way not to take himself and his opinions so seriously, but change always happens later than we think it should.

AUTHOR

chriskeal

All stories by: chriskeal