MFA’s WIFE PRESENTS: PETITION FOR DIVORCE

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My husband is going through his fourth life crisis. He is obese, bald, bankrupt, short and sexually inept. MFA has been meeting with a therapist in order to fix his life but to no avail. Our marriage is falling apart. We have no money. The bank is about to repossess his Bosley wig for the fourth time. The 1997 Mustang is the most valuable thing we own. We will lose our home soon.

MFA is 5’6” and 240 pounds. He is on the verge of becoming morbidly obese by any clinical standards. His mental health is also in shambles. This man is a compulsive liar. He told me while we were engaged that he was on a special operations team in the Navy. That turned out to be false. The therapist concluded that he suffers from numerous mental impairments including a form of dissociative identity disorder that causes him to believe that he was a Navy SEAL in a past life. After doing some research with a private investigator, I was able to find out that he dressed up as a seal at birthday parties for children back in the 1980s.

On the topic of children, our marriage took a turn for the worse when that poor little boy drowned in our pool during his Navy Seal Swimming Seminar for Youths. That unfortunate incident bankrupted us and as a result his swimming was shut down. This is disturbing pattern in Michael’s life. His website was shutdown, his libido shutdown, his hair growth shutdown, but his appetite remains. He is now an advanced diabetic and we recently went into more debt from a cataracts surgery. Michael just won’t take his health seriously.

Our sex life is nonexistent like his Navy Seal dog tags. He can’t maintain an erection. Viagra and Cialis do not work. The five finger technique is an outright lie. He only uses his hands for one purpose and that is to feed himself with endless amounts of food.

Michael is a burden on me and on our house’s foundation. Seriously, his obesity might create a sink hole. I ask the Sherif of this website, Sf9ers4905, to serve this Petition for Divorce to my putrid spouse.

Lastly, I would like to announce that I found a new lover. He slid into my DMs and has been showering me with love and compassion. He is financially stable with a job at a grocery store. He has an Arab slave errr servant in his basement. He has voluptuous ankles.

MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS K1 !!!!

AUTHOR

nofriendo

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2 comments
  • Howard Gianopoulos

    Thanks a ton for your post. I’d like to write my opinion that the expense of car insurance varies widely from one insurance policy to another, given that there are so many different facets which bring about the overall cost. One example is, the model and make of the car or truck will have a significant bearing on the purchase price. A reliable aged family auto will have a more economical premium when compared to a flashy fancy car.

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