The Cult of Jimmy God

    900 295 chriskeal

    Authors: Son of Liberty, Cato, and Publius

    “We, the Rebel Alliance against Jimmy God and HIs Cult, do therefore in the name—and by the authority—of the free beings of SKA, solemnly publish and declare our intentions:
    To fight and oppose you and your forces, by any and all means at our disposal;
    To refuse any Jimmy God law contrary to the rights of free fans;
    To bring about your destruction and the destruction of the Jimmy God Empire;
    To make forever free all fans in SKA.
    To these ends, we pledge our property, our honor, and our lives.’’

    A new power is rising against the Union of Gizz Guzzlers. It’s victory is at hand.

    We face a new crisis. This new threat is to the security of SKA, the National Football League, and the Football Youth of America. We cannot appease the Cult of Jimmy God. They will not stop until they have total surrender from us. We must spearhead a resistance to the Jimmy God world conquest. This is a battle between good and evil. If you value the future of SKA, the NFL, and our youth, then you will join me in the rebellion against the cult of Jimmy God.

    It is our duty to drive the Gizz Guzzlers out. Drive out these extremists. Drive them out of our places of worship. Drive them out of our communities. Drive them out of our holy land, SKA, and drive them out of the NFL. SKA can overcome this evil if the forces of good are united against this horrid Cult. The majority of 49er nation must take the lead in stamping out radicalization within their community.

    This is a movement without a conscience. Again, they cannot be appeased. We must constantly fight and destroy the Cult of Jimmy God. This cult will never rest. They will be plotting at all times to overtake SKA, the NFL, and the world. We must take the fight to the Cult as they are a direct threat to our wellbeing. Against this antagonist, there is only one effective response: We will never back down, we will never give in, and we will never accept anything less than complete victory of the Jimmy Gizz Guzzler Cult.

    There is sin and evil our world. We will use scripture and the Lord to stand up to evil. We will transcend the evil of Jimmy God. SKA and the NFL will not tolerate deliberate threats from Jimmy God and his Cult. We will not allow aggressive conduct from the Cult to go unchecked and unchallenged. It is our duty to meet Jimmy God with determination and the will to win. Any hostile move from his Cult will be met by whatever action is needed.

    We would like to offer sympathy to those 49ers fans that live in fear. Criticizing Jimmy God is dangerous for 49ers fans to do. We speak to moderate 49ers fans as friends. We know you have a deep attachment to your team and you too are opposed to the radicalization of 49ers fans by Jimmy God. SKA and the NFL have watched with deep sorrow how your fellow fans have betrayed you all. These corrupt 49ers fans are puppets and agents of Jimmy God. It is now time for Moderate 49ers fans to rise up with us against the tyrants who have destroyed 49ers nation. We have no doubt that most 49ers fans look forward to a time when they can be free from Jimmy God and his Cult.

    This rebellion against Jimmy God and His Cult will go on to the very end. We will fight in SKA, we will fight on espn and any other sports site. We will fight with growing confidence and growing strength. We will defend SKA for whatever cost is necessary. We will fight on the beaches, landing grounds, fields, and streets. We will fight in the hills. We will never surrender.

    The rebellion urges everyone to speak out against those would place SKA in a position of sports and moral inferiority. We urge you to ignore the facts, phony statistics, and aggressive impulses of this evil empire.

    Get up
    Salute the SKA Flag
    Wash your balls
    Fuck Jimmy God and His Cult, boi
    AUTHOR

    chriskeal

    All stories by: chriskeal