That’s right – double your Tuesdays, double your pleasure, and prepare for knowledge! That’s what I always say. Bader Report Season is upon us! The most hap-happiest time of the year!! Feel free to hug your neighbor!!
We are a mere three weeks into the season but it looks like there is a bit of a shakeup in the NFC West. The Niners are 3-0 and look absolutely dominant on both sides of the ball, and the Rams have started off undefeated as well despite Jared Goff’s post-contract extension woes. There are just seven remaining undefeated teams in the league and the NFC West is home to two of them.
Meanwhile, in the lower half of the division, it looks as though the Seahawks decline is ongoing, with narrow victories over the 0-3 Bengals and 0-3 Steelers and a loss to Freddy Bongwater (thank you FJY) at home this past Sunday. Kyler Murray, Kliff Kingsbury and the Cardinals have struggled early and sit alone in the flooded basement of the division at 0-2-1.
Folks, Tuesday Morning is a state of mind, so let’s celebrate with some STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check out these beautiful knowledge tables:
Woah! The Red and Gold 49ers are by far the best offensive team in the division despite 8 turnovers in their first three games. They are top five in yards per game, rushing yards per game, opponent sacks allowed, and offensive PPG. No other team in the division is top five in any offensive category! Not too much more to mention here, but let’s pour one out and say a prayer for Kyler Murray who has been sacked 16 times in his first three games.
Double woah! The Niners are the best defensive team in the division, too! They are 2nd in the league in yards per game allowed, and already have 7 takeaways which matches their mark from last season. Despite giving up 161 all purpose yards to Alvin Kamara on Sunday the Seahawks are top 5 in rushing YPG allowed. Good for them! At least they can do something right on defense. Next they should try to not give up 400+ passing yards to quarterbacks like Andy Dalton, or a 112.7 passer rating to reserve QBs like Freddy Bongwater.
After reviewing the Stats, it is clear that the NFCW is divided into the “Haves” (SF), the “Have-Nots” (SEA, AZ), and the Rams (LA). The stats don’t lie, people! I’d bet my Golden Boner on it. Award.
NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
Russell Wilson 75/105 (71.4%) 901 yds, 8.6 ypa, 7 td, 0 int, 119.6 rtg
Jimmy Garoppolo 58/84 (69.0%) 739 yds, 8.8 ypa, 5 td, 4 int, 96.3 rtg
Jared Goff 66/105 (62.9%) 738 yds, 7.0 ypa, 4 td, 3 int, 84.5 rtg
Kyler Murray 84/137 (61.3%) 830 yds, 6.1 ypa, 4 td, 3 int, 79.0 rtg
NFCW Running Backs (Ranked by Yards Per Carry)
R Mostert – 34 att, 202 yds, 5.9 ypc, 1 td, 1 fum
M Breida – 41 att, 226 yds, 5.5 ypc, 0 td, 0 fum
T Gurley – 44 att, 203 yds, 4.6 ypc, 1 td, 0 fum
D Johnson – 36 att, 133 yds, 3.7 ypc, 1 td, 0 fum
C Carson – 45 att, 159 yds, 3.5 ypc, 1 td, 2 fum
Some final words… SKA has been crazy lately! Niners fans (Adusoron; Tigre should be back shortly) are coming out of the woodwork. Seahawks fans (BKOB, Munkey, HH) are trying to accept the fact that their defense is no longer talented enough to carry Russell Wilson to the playoffs. And Rams fans (k1, Halos) are trying to pretend that Jared Goff, the $110 Million Man, hasn’t been below average at best since the Bears game last year (10 TD, 10 INT, 55% completion percentage in his last ten games, 0 TD in the Super Bowl).
As for Cardinals fans? Keal has been focusing on battling his inner demons, AZK has been trying to help Lisa beat her cigarette addiction, MFA is neck-deep in debt with Conn’s, and DHC is dead. There’s always next year, I guess.
And now, how about your feedback? Feel free to share your thoughts, and favorite excerpts, in the comments section below. Unless you’re a Seahawks fan, then keep your comments to yourself.
Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Chris… Keal…………………..