The Real BKOB Report – 2020 – Week 11 Edition

    835 425 BKOB

    GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

    Greetings, Knowledge Seekers! It’s the week of Thanksgiving! But you probably already knew that.  It’s the most football-friendly holiday on the calendar. Even if your team isn’t playing, you can still ignore your family members to watch the games. I’m so thankful I could plotz!!

    This is to commemorate the foolish and despicable Pilgrims, who got themselves perma-banned from England and decided to cross the Atlantic Ocean and starve to death. I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time. Thankfully for them (see what I did there?) the local Natives were friendly enough to hang out with them and share their Knowledge Tables. The idiotic Pilgrims were so pleased with their new neighbors, they named the Washington Football Team after them – another brilliant idea that blew up in their faces.

    And that’s why, to this very day, we get together with our foolish and despicable loved ones and talk about NFCW Stats and Rankings.

    No Knowledge Table would be complete without a little multi-colored gravy, just like mom used to make. So let’s enjoy some STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    R Wilson – 256/362 (70.7%) 2,986 yds, 8.2 ypa, 30 td, 10 int, 111.5 rtg
    K Murray – 241/353 (68.3%) 2,644 yds, 7.5 ypa, 19 td, 8 int, 98.7 rtg
    J Goff – 252/372 (67.7%) 2,823 yds, 7.6 ypa, 16 td, 8 int, 95.5 rtg
    J Garopplo – 94/140 (67.1%) 1,096 yds, 7.8 ypa, 7 td, 5 int, 92.4 rtg
    N Mullens – 115/171 (67.3%) 1,390 yds, 8.1 ypa, 6 td, 6 int, 89.1 rtg

    NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
    K Drake – 146 att, 641 yds, 4.4 ypa, 5 td, 1 fum
    K Murray – 92 att, 619 yds, 6.7 ypa, 10 td, 2 fum
    D Henderson Jr – 110 att, 491 yds, 4.5 ypa, 4 td, 0 fum
    R Wilson – 55 att, 367 yds, 6.7 ypa, 1 td, 3 fum
    M Brown – 84 att, 367 yds, 4.4 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum
    C Carson – 66 att, 323 yds, 4.9 ypa, 3 td, 1 fum
    R Mostert – 51 att, 303 yds, 5.9 ypa, 1 td, 0 fum
    J McKinnon – 77 att, 294 yds, 3.8 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum

    What’s changed?
    The Arizona Cardinals having been thoroughly exposed for the frauds that they are have tumbled from 1st place all the way to 3rd, which is where they belong. Such an embarrassing collapse should be enough to destroy the confidence of any non-Seahawks team, and I assume their locker-room has been torn asunder. I expect to see Kliff Kingsbury’s resignation on my desk this afternoon, and Kyler Murray shagging balls in Spring Training with the A’s. You gave it your best shot, shorty!

    Despite all of the Highlighting, the Cardinals’ formerly-formidable Offense met it’s doom at the hands of Seattle’s Defense. Who didn’t see that one coming? Seattle held Murray to 15 rushing yards and 0 rushing TDs, exactly as I had predicted. This means Arizona had to rely on Murray’s arm to propel themselves past Russell Carrington Wilson, which is a silly thing to do. They were no match for Wilson and Brian Schottenheimer, aka Schotty Too Hotty.

    My Analysis:
    The NFCW Standings remain in a state of quantum limbo, with a pair of 7-3 teams existing in the same space at the same time, like Schrodinger’s cat. I think. There’s no point in trying to understand the complex and bizarre tie-breaker system employed by the NFL. It cannot be comprehended by any reasonable person.

    Both teams are loaded with Highlighting, and the schedule over the next few weeks should provide us with some clarity on the NFCW hierarchy. And we can all be Thankful for that. Except for the Niner Fans.

    And now, how about your feedback? Give your compliments to the chef in the Comments Section below! 

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………

    AUTHOR

    BKOB

    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

    All stories by: BKOB
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