The Real BKOB Report – 2020 – Week 12 Edition

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Greetings, Knowledge Seekers! It is I, the Tabulator of Knowledge, Hoister of Boners, and Fixer of Links! The Real BKOB Report always goes above and beyond for the nice people of SKA! That means YOU, Bob!!

December is here. Already? Can it be so?? It seems like just yesterday I was using my Time Machine to fill the Preseason Football Void. Hmm, maybe it WAS yesterday? Time Travel is very confusing. Either way, we’re heading down the home-stretch of the most unusual Football Season in BKOB Report History! And I promise, Knowledge Seekers: No Time Travel-spoilers!

Now for the moment I’ve all been waiting for: STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
R Wilson – 278/393 (70.7%) 3,216 yds, 8.2 ypa, 31 td, 10 int, 110.8 rtg
K Murray – 264/387 (68.2%) 2,814 yds, 7.3 ypa, 19 td, 9 int, 95.9 rtg
J Goff – 271/403 (67.2%) 3,021 yds, 7.5 ypa, 16 td, 10 int, 92.3 rtg
J Garopplo – 94/140 (67.1%) 1,096 yds, 7.8 ypa, 7 td, 5 int, 92.4 rtg
N Mullens – 139/206 (67.5%) 1,642 yds, 8.0 ypa, 6 td, 7 int, 87.1 rtg

NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
K Drake – 168 att, 719 yds, 4.3 ypa, 7 td, 1 fum
K Murray – 97 att, 650 yds, 6.7 ypa, 10 td, 2 fum
D Henderson Jr – 120 att, 510 yds, 4.3 ypa, 4 td, 0 fum
R Wilson – 61 att, 379 yds, 6.2 ypa, 1 td, 3 fum
M Brown – 87 att, 371 yds, 4.3 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum
C Carson – 74 att, 364 yds, 4.9 ypa, 4 td, 1 fum
R Mostert – 67 att, 346 yds, 5.2 ypa, 2 td, 1 fum
J McKinnon – 80 att, 315 yds, 3.9 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum

What’s changed?
The Seahawks will own this Division forever. This is your daily reminder. All Non-Seahawks fans, get back to work. The Rams and Cardinals each had a week to sit in First Place, which they probably enjoyed, but that’s like taking a photo of yourself on the Iron Throne and then going home to live in your dad’s garage.

The 2020 Football Season has taught us that it is physically impossible for Russell Wilson to have a losing season. It’s true, look it up. You can give him the worst Defense in the league, you can Sack him 33 times in 11 games, heck you can even infect half of the planet with a deadly virus, and not only does he keep winning games, but he THRIVES!!

Now compare that to Jared Goff, whose Defense is Top 5 in literally EVERY category, and whose Offensive Line has kept him upright more than almost any other QB in the league – and yet he’s just been swept by the 49ers for the 2nd year in a row. He can’t seem to get out of his own team’s way, even though he’s making more money than Wilson. What a waste of Yellow Highlighting!!

The needle is always pointing upwards for Seattle. Their running backs are healthy and productive once more, and the aforementioned Defense has managed to get 19 sacks in the past 4 games. As an unbiased Sports Journalist, I find it difficult to contain my joy! There’s even a chance Jacksonville could soon overtake them as the 32nd ranked Total Defense. Huzzah!!

Those Defensive Numbers would have looked even better yesterday if it hadn’t been for a fluky Hail Mary in the closing seconds of the game. What’s more annoying than that?? Oops, sorry Bill.

My Analysis:
Elsewhere in the Division, the 49ers are inching their way back towards a .500 record, those spunky little devils. However those plans could soon be derailed by the return of Jimmy G. They just can’t catch a break. No wonder they’ve been kicked out of their own home stadium.

What happened to the 2017 version of Jimmy? The one who played a little more than 5 games, and threw 7 TDs and 5 INTs while completing 67% of his passes, with a passer rating in the mid-90’s? Oh wait, that’s exactly what he did this year. Only this time, instead of receiving the largest contract ever, he’s about to be rode out of town on a rail. He hasn’t gotten worse, people just started noticing that he’s terrible. The Garoppolo-mirage has worn off, and his former enablers can’t wait to get rid of him. Can’t say I didn’t warn you.

And now, how about your feedback? What do you, the viewer at home, think? Tell us in the Comment Section below. 

Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………



A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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