The Real BKOB Report – 2020 – Week 15 Edition

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    It’s Clinchmas season on! In keeping with a longstanding tradition, the Seattle Seahawks are the first NFCW team to clinch a playoff spot, and the 49ers are the first to clinch a plane ticket home as soon as the season ends! Their fans are roasting on an open fire, while Jared Goff hangs himself by the chimney with care. It’s the most wonderful time of the Regular Season. Go ahead and hug your neighbor. They might think it’s weird at first, but they’ll grow to like it!

    Another exciting week of NFCW Football is in the books, with each game coming down to the wire in its own funny sort of way. We’ve got stats, reactions, airing of grievances, feats of strength, and MORE, right here on The Real BKOB Report 2020 Week 15 Edition! Hohoho!!

    Let’s begin the festivities with some STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    R Wilson – 344/490 (70.2%) 3,806 yds, 7.8 ypa, 37 td, 13 int, 107.1 rtg
    K Murray – 336/497 (67.6%) 3,637 yds, 7.3 ypa, 26 td, 11 int, 97.1 rtg
    J Goff – 346/509 (68.0%) 3,718 yds, 7.3 ypa, 20 td, 12 int, 92.4 rtg
    J Garopplo – 94/140 (67.1%) 1,096 yds, 7.8 ypa, 7 td, 5 int, 92.4 rtg
    N Mullens – 211/326 (64.7%) 2,437 yds, 7.5 ypa, 12 td, 12 int, 84.1 rtg

    NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
    K Drake – 211 att, 874 yds, 4.1 ypa, 9 td, 3 fum
    K Murray – 123 att, 741 yds, 6.0 ypa, 11 td, 5 fum
    C Akers – 124 att, 591 yds, 4.8 ypa, 2 td, 0 fum
    C Carson – 114 att, 568 yds, 5.0 ypa, 5 td, 1 fum
    D Henderson Jr – 126 att, 562 yds, 4.5 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum
    R Mostert – 104 att, 521 yds, 5.0 ypa, 2 td, 1 fum
    R Wilson – 75 att, 475 yds, 6.3 ypa, 1 td, 4 fum
    J Wilson Jr – 84 att, 341 yds, 4.1 ypa, 6 td, 2 fum

    What’s changed?
    And now, the Airing of Grievances.

    Struggling Sean was out-coached by Adam Gase, as the So-Called Rams fell to the formerly-tanking Jets. It’s a Festivus Miracle! Gase’s game-plan of “lose every game in humiliating fashion, no matter what” could not withstand the shabby QB-play of LA’s 31 million dollar man, Jared Goff. His “performance” was a chillingly brutal assault of mind-numbing incompetence on the highest level. For any other QB, this would be the most embarrassing loss of their career but, well you know.

    What’s the point of having all of that Yellow Highlighting if your team can’t even beat the Jets at home? It’s making me question my whole Highlighting-strategy. Fortunately for the Rams, they won’t be seeing Sam Darnold in the postseason, assuming they make it that far.

    My Analysis:
    And now, Feats of Strength!

    Pro Bowl selections have been announced, and the Seattle Seahawks lead the NFCW (and the NFL) with 7 players selected – Including TWO members of their secondary?? Wait, that can’t be right… *checks red highlighting in the table* I just don’t know what’s going on, Knowledge Seekers. 2020 is truly a season like no other.

    Seahawks’ General Manager (or “GM” for short) John Schneider has now been responsible for acquiring TWENTY-FOUR different Pro Bowlers over his 11 seasons with the team! That’s a lot!! I haven’t compared that to the other NFCW GMs during that timeframe, because I know that none of them even comes close. I guess that explains why Seattle goes to the playoffs every year, even while constantly rebuilding the roster. Maybe the other NFCW teams can take notes.

    Elsewhere in the Division, the Cardinals pulled off one of their most exciting victories of the season, prompting Mike to yank the ventilator out of his own esophagus before Five-Finger Death Punching his way out of the ICU to go home and make more memes! How’s THAT for feats of strength!! It’s good to have you back, big guy!

    The final two weeks of the 2020 Season are FILLED with NFCW matchups, with playoff implications galore! This is shaping up to be the most exciting conclusion to a season since last year!

    And now, how about your feedback? There are only TWO BKOB Report left this season, Knowledge Seekers! Let us know how sad that makes you feel in the Comments Section below!

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………



    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

    All stories by: BKOB

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