The Real BKOB Report – End of Year Edition

835 425 BKOB

GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

That’s right, Knowledge Seekers, this is the Season Finale of The Real BKOB Report!! Wow, so soon? Time flies when you spend half of the season living in the woods.

This is the Edition that will feature all of the stats and information you’ll use to troll your fellow SKA Users throughout the long and unpleasant offseason. Bookmark this page, download it, send a link to your emergency contacts, print several backup copies and keep one in your glove box, in case of emergencies!!

So without further delay, a special End of Year Edition of Knowledge Tables and Extended… STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
J Goff – 296/477 (62.1%) 3,804 yds, 8.0 ypa, 28td, 7 int, 100.5 rtg
J Garoppolo – 120/178 (67.4%) 1,560 yds, 8.8 ypa, 7 td, 5 int, 96.2 rtg
R Wilson – 339/553 (61.3%) 3,983 yds, 7.2 ypa, 34 td, 11 int, 95.4 rtg
D Stanton – 79/159 (49.7%) 894 yds, 5.6 ypa, 6 td, 5 int, 66.4 rtg
——————–
C Palmer – 164/267 (61.4%) 1,987 yds, 7.4 ypa, 9 td, 7 int, 84.4 rtg
B Hoyer – 119/205 (58.0%) 1,245 yds, 6.1 ypa, 4 td, 4 int, 74.1 rtg
B Gabbert – 95/171 (55.6%) 1,086 yds, 6.4 ypa, 6 td, 6int, 71.9 rtg
C Beathard – 123/224 (54.9%) 1,430 yds, 6.4 ypa, 4 td, 6 int, 69.2 rtg

NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
T Gurley – 279 att, 1,305 yds, 4.7 ypc, 13 td, 5 fum
C Hyde – 240 att, 940 yds, 3.9 ypc, 8 td, 2 fum
R Wilson – 95 att, 586 yds, 6.2 ypc, 3 td, 6 fum
K Williams – 120 att, 426 yds, 3.6 ypc, 1 td, 0 fum
——————–
A Peterson – 129 att, 448 yds, 3.5 ypa, 2 td, 3 fum
M Breida – 105 att, 465 yds, 4.4 ypa, 2 td, 1 fum
M Davis – 68 att, 240 yds, 3.5 ypa, 0 td, 0 fum
C Carson – 49 att, 208 yds, 4.2 ypa, 0 td, 0 fum
E Lacy – 69 att, 179 yds, 2.6 ypa, 0 td, 0 fum
T Rawls – 58 att, 157 yds, 2.7 ypa, 0 td, 0 fum

NFCW Receivers (Ranked by Receiving Yards)
L Fitzgerald – 109 rec, 161 tar, 1,156 yds, 6 td
D Baldwin – 75 rec, 117 tar, 991 yds, 8 td
M Goodwin – 56 rec, 105 tar, 962 yds, 2 td
C Kupp – 62 rec, 95 tar, 869 yds, 5 td
T Gurley – 64 rec, 87 tar, 788 yds, 6 td
P Richardson – 44 rec, 80 tar, 703 yds, 6 td
J Graham – 57 rec, 98 tar, 520 yds, 10 td
G Kittle – 43 rec, 63 tar, 515 yds, 2 td
J Nelson – 29 rec, 61 tar, 508 yds, 2 td

What’s Changed?
2017 will go down as the Year that Doesn’t Count. Knowledge itself was vanquished, and chaos ruled supreme. In fact, the entire year was so lowsy that Knowledge Seekers across the globe actually celebrated the end of the year and arrival of a new one – some of them even staying up until midnight to count down the event. That tells you everything you need to know, right there.

NFCW fans are so displeased that they’re actually revolting against reality itself. Niner fans are planning their 16-0 parade for next year, Seahawks fans are pondering how Player ‘Y’ cost them ‘X’ amount of games, and Cardinal fans? Well, you saw the gif.

Even Rams Fans seem embarassed and disappointed in how the year turned out. I doubt any of them will be watching the playoffs. They’re used to entertaining themselves in January, and 2017 has robbed them of that joy. They are the greatest victims of all in this colossal sham of a season.

My Analysis
I don’t know what Russell Carrington Wilson’s teammates will be doing for a living next year. But no matter where they end up in this crazy, mixed up world, they can tell their children and their grandchildren that they did the impossible – they kept Wilson and the Seahawks out of the Playoffs. How much are the Knowledge Haters paying you, Ifedi??!!

Even with a stable of inflatable clowns on the Offensive Line, a RB corps that provided exactly ONE TD, a MASH Tent for a Defense, No Kicker, and more pentalties than any other team in History, Wilson still managed to lead Seattle to a winning record – Throwing more TDs than anyone, while leading his own team in Rushing by more than double the next nearest player. He’s the real NFCW Champion, in my book.

And now, how about your feedback? I love all of my Knowledge Seekers. No matter what happens, you guys are required to stick together for another year of fun and trolling. Tuesdays would never be the same without every single one of you. Thanks for reading.

Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………..

AUTHOR

BKOB

A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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