The Real BKOB Report – Week 8 Edition

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GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

October has come and gone, and for the NFCW it was a month to forget. The four teams combined for a putrid record of 5-9-2 for the month. Gross.

What happened to you, NFCW? You used to be so cool. So many epic battles, big moments and crazy story-lines. Except for the Rams.

And now!? This Division is a shell of its former self. Especially the 49ers and Cardinals. NFCW, If you keep this up, I might have to start writing articles for the East board. Although I don’t know how receptive they’ll be to my Russell Wilson-charts.

Now let’s get to my least favorite part of the article: the STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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NFCW Passers (Ranked by Passer Rating)
RW (w/ 2 bad legs) 158/241 (65.6%) 1,812yds 7.5ypa 5td 2int 91.5prtg
C Palmer 177/282 (62.8%) 2,068yds 7.3ypa 10td 6int 87.9prtg
C Keenum 147/237 (62.0%) 1,708yds 7.2ypa 8td 10int 77.5prtg
B Gabbert 87/150 (58.0%) 890yds 5.9ypa 5td 6int 69.6prtg
C Kaepernick 29/63 (46.0%) 330yds 5.2ypa 2td 1int 66.2prtg

NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
D Johnson 156att 705yds 4.5ypa 8td 2fum
C Michael 107att 446yds 4.2ypa 5td 1fum
C Hyde 109att 429yds 3.9ypa 6td 1fum
T Gurley 134att 403yds 3.0ypa 3td 2fum

What’s Changed?
The Seahawks Defense has watched helplessly as much of their precious Yellow Highlighting has slipped away. Meanwhile, an ugly smattering of Red has cropped up on the Offensive side of things. It doesn’t take a Golden Boner to know that this is a disturbing trend. Award.

After failing in their attempts to get Russell Wilson killed, the Offensive Line has shifted their efforts toward committing penalties as a means to sabotage my Knowledge Tables.

Through it all, Wilson has somehow remained #1 on The Real BKOB Report Quarterback Rankings. I don’t know how he does it. But it doesn’t get any easier this week when they face The Ryan Bros and their Buffalo Band of Sack Happy Foot-Soldiers.

If I was the major Seahawks Homer I am often accused of being, I would find it very difficult to spin this a positive way. But I’m not. So I won’t.

What I will do, however, is provide some much needed context. At this same point last year the Seahawks were 3-4, ranked 28th in Passing and 19th in Points Scored. They turned it around and finished the year as a Top 5 Offense.

There is still time to improve upon these dreadful numbers, as long as the Nano-Bubbles kick in soon. Rumor has it he’s switched to Cucumber Mint flavor (which you can purchase here)

My Analysis:
The Pitiful Artizona Cardinals stumble lifelessly into their Bye Week, with yet another humiliating loss tacked on to their nightmare of a season. Carson Palmer was in Post-Season form, and alleged “Superstar” Running Back David Johnson was held to just 24 yards, and did not score a Touchdown for the second week in a row.

This is the exact same roster that went 13-3 last year (plus Chandler Jones). And now, eight games through 2016, they haven’t gotten above .500 at any point during the season. Bruce Arians should do something about that, but I don’t even think he cares anymore.

Sure, they have some Yellow Highlighting on their Stats, but they’re not fooling anyone. With their inability to protect the Quarterback and hang on to the ball, their season is as good as done. The jig is up.

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Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil.
AUTHOR

BKOB

A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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