The Rise of the “Goon Squad” aka Lisa’s Goons

    974 1024 Tribe

    [Pictured Above – Lisa’s Goons celebrating after conquering Footballandpoop.com and beheading NFCwfootballtrolls.com]

    “But the Battle at SKA was no battle at all. It was a code used by pacifists from both sides who turned the blog into an artistic community and a refuge from the war. 
    You have to understand. Poets, artists, dancers – these kind of men preferred peace to war. These delicate lovely men found a place of refuge among the people at the Faction. Amidst the macho brutality of war this was a place where dandies and dreamers could put on plays and sing tender ballads and dance in the moonlight. I like to think of The Faction as the Underground Railroad for the sensitive… and well… fabulous”
    Leader of Goon Squad

    Backstory on Founder: Sc0tti

    By the time the United States withdrew from its long bloody encounter with Iraq, it thought it had declawed a once fearsome enemy: the Islamic State, which had many names and incarnations but at the time was neither fearsome nor a state.Beaten back by the American troop surge and Sunni tribal fighters, it was considered such a diminished threat that the bounty the United States put on one of its leaders, Osama bin Scotti, had dropped from $5 million to $100,000. The ultimate disrespect. Fearing for his life, Scotti disappeared for half a decade, becoming cisgender and vegan for a brief period, while pleasuring himself with a store-bought fleshlight and ending his celibacy.

    Nine years later, the once prominent warfighter Scotti is on a very different trajectory, creating an even more vicious group known by the name – The Goon Squad – Arabic for Lisa’s Goons. Their  hopes are  to claim spread their ideology onto Chris Keal’s website for homers and trolls – Spikedkoolaid. Their sole mission is to protect her from the blog’s enemies. He’s already gotten the 9th prestige Call of Duty champion FuckJedYork and former PCP addict turned engineer Munkee on his payroll. Their goal? Complete chaos. By no means should the threats of their leader should be ignored. Below, you will see a war cry Scotti (now known as Matt Olsen’s #1 Fan) state to his pack of animals:

     
    *during the battle tomorrow*
    Munkey: Best thing you can do for the deceased is to pee on their graves. Then you dance and work the urine into the root systems. Doesnt hurt to have a smile on your face, either.

    The upcoming battle will surely cause a civil war on SKA, and no one is sure where top talent trolls such as Too Short, MFA, and Pineapple will align with. DHC had to withdraw from the Goon Squad after failing his physical.

    All we know is Silent Bob will be hurt reading the rude comments from both sides, but at least it will make work day go by faster.Goon Squad has made it clear that they control censorship here and anyone who refuses the caliphate would be subjected to rules made by their leader Scotti. Any direct insults at Princess Lisa would be dealt with accordingly. We have already seen the casualties of our beloved Bader and Nav, and lost Vegas who has not been seen since going on a Tinder date 2 days ago. Both sides will have to come to a truce before an all out war breaks out.

     

    Bader if you’re reading this, we’re sending in a special ops team consisting of Kittens and Cinco (who just got a new gun – whoot) to rescue you. Nav, get your ass back here. Vegas, I hope he was worth it.

    “As you can see above, Savage Slavic Munk has rose up the ranks with remarkable speed and is quickly become Scotti’s Right Hand Man. He has no regard for human life and attacks mental illnesses. If you have tourettes like Beaster, please stay away from this dangerous Goon!”-blog snitch

    Keal you better not post some stupid article in replace of this . No college links this week! BKOB Report also canceled!

    AUTHOR

    Tribe

    Direct instruction from sensei MikeFromAZ (2011-2016), Munkee (2016- 12/7/17), currently free of any masters

    All stories by: Tribe