TRIBE PRESENTS: Fair and Balanced NFCW Draft Grades

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    Cardinals: C-

    Their alcoholic General Manager drafted Josh Rosen and then traded him a way a year later. Ok, whatever, fine. So they drafted a 5’9 QB with the number one overall pick. Their best hope is that he becomes Russell Wilson but that is unlikely. This team has gaping holes everywhere like Bader’s girlfriend after a gang banging session with the Chicago Bulls roster. They failed to sure up their offensive line or defense. Ok, they did draft two defensive players early but let’s take a look at them quickly. Byron Murphy is a black CB from the University of Washington. Any black CB with any athletic ability would play in the SEC. This guy is an obvious bust. Sorry. They also drafted some guy named Zach Allen. He is a defensive end. He is white. He is a defensive end. He is white. His last name isn’t Bosa or Watt. That’s an obvious bust. He will be doing crowd work at a Trump rally by the end of the season. The alcoholic GM opted to draft a shit ton of receivers. Kunt Dingleberry is going to get his rookie QB destroyed. Yes it is a passing league but you need be able to protect your god damn QB. MFA and Cristopher Keal are nice guys so I will give their shitty team a C because they at least participated in the draft.

    Seahawks: D+

    The Seahakws haven’t been able to draft well since the other Alcoholic GM left them. Schneider and Crooked Pete have no fucking idea what they are doing without Scot McCloughan doing all of the work for them. Really, look at their drafting since AA Scot left. Complete and utter dog shit. This Seahawks franchise is dying from the inside out, folks. BKOB knows it. Why else is he planning to become a lot lizard 8 months of the year for the rest of his life? The franchise is done. They will be sharing a stadium with the A’s in Oklahoma City in 5 years without Paul Allen’s money.

    Rams: F

    They had a horrible draft…probably one of the worst drafts in the league. Sean McVay is a good enough coach to overcome Les Snead’s horrible drafting as of late. For how long can McBae bail out Snead? That is the question. I do worry that McBae’s hot girlfriend is becoming a distraction. Though I do like RB Darrell Henderson from Memphis. He’s clearly the next Fantasy Football stud for you gambling degenerates. They will make the playoffs and most likely have an early exit.

    49ers: B-

    I’m conflicted here. John CTE Lynch is clearly losing his fucking mind. The dude was caught drooling during the combine. He drafted that piece of shit Solomon Thomas because he gave him answers to an exam in college. I suspect that Kyle Shanahan has usurped him and is now taking over the draft room. Nick Bosa is a great talent from a great, upstanding University. He’s probably a little racist but who cares…the guy can play ball. Deebo Samuel and Jalen Hurd are fantastic fits for Shanahan. I can’t imagine them failing in his system. The other guys they drafted are depth but these first three picks could help them sneak into a wildcard spot if Jimmy G remembers that he isn’t Michael Vick next season.



    Asheville, NC Native

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