The Real BKOB Report – Week 7 Edition

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    Good morning, SKA users. It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to Arm Yourselves… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

    Well, the first edition of The Real BKOB Report sure did ruffle a few feathers. Alex Bader, Friend of the Ignorant, was so appalled that I would post ACCURATE stats on his website that he closed the whole place down! I wasn’t surprised by this shameless act of cowardice, which I believe to be symptomatic of all 49er fans.

    It was my hope to spread truth, honor and integrity amongst the NFCW, and it seemed that dream would be DASHED after just one issue. This was an injustice so heinous and wretched that my mind struggled to comprehend it. Could the will of the people be so easily denied?

    I fell into a drunken, depressed stupor. Then came a knock at my door. “Go away!” I shouted. “I don’t want to see the light.” But the knocking persisted. Finally I answered the door. It was Chris Keal. I knew right away that it was serious business. He explained to me how he was a big fan of The Real BKOB Report, and how my perseverance and bravery had inspired him to stand up for what was right.

    “What Alex Bader did to you was wrong.” He said. His lips were quivering from the emotion of the moment. “I know that, Chris.” I said, patting the little fella on the head. “But what can I do? I’m just one man.”

    He told me that I WASN’T alone, and that -thanks to me- he had decided to open a SpikedKoolAid.com of his very own! He swore that he would pay for everything and do all the work, as long as I continued to Copy/Paste the truth for the entire world to see! Now let’s get to the stats!!!

    a59UG2F

    Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)

    Carson Palmer – 52/81 (64.2%) 554yds (6.84ypa) 4td 0int 100.5pass rtg
    Russell Wilson – 92/139 (66.2%) 978yds (7.04ypa) 8td 2int 99.7pass rtg
    Colin Kaepernick – 119/186 (64.0%), 1,456yds (7.83ypa) 10td 4int 97.0pass rtg
    Austin Davis – 118/185 (63.8%) 1,365yds (7.38ypa) 7td 4int 89.6pass rtg

    Running backs (Ranked by Yards per Attempt)

    Marshawn Lynch – 79att, 367yds, 4.6ypa 3td 0fum
    Frank Gore – 93att, 403yds, 4.3ypa, 1td 0fum
    Zac Stacy – 61att, 240yds, 3.9ypa, 1td 2fum
    Andre Ellington – 81att, 305yds, 3.8ypa, 1td 1fum

    What’s Changed:

    The standings have changed. Also the Seahawks are no longer the #1 Rushing Defense, and the Rams are no longer the # Passing Defense. Carson Palmer has surpassed Drew Stanton for passing yards in Arizona, so I put him on the list. And wouldn’t you know it? – The guy is the fourth highest rated passer in the league behind Philip Rivers, Aaron Rodgers and Peyton Manning. DHC and Mike will make this a loooong week for all of us.

    My Analysis:

    What a boring weekend, with nothing memorable or noteworthy to discuss. The Seahawks lost a close game to the Dallas Cowboys, one of the great franchises in the history Pro Sports. A team that has five -count ‘em- FIVE Super Bowl Rings. You gotta respect that. The game could have gone either way, but in the end the Seahawks proved that they can hang with the five-time Super Bowl Champs.

    So you have to ask yourself: How much longer until the Seahawks have five Super Bowls of their own? We will find out soon enough.
    Meanwhile, some busted coverages allowed the 49ers to eek out a win against a St Louis squad that is decimated by injuries. The stadium was packed with empty seats, while undrafted 3rd-stringer Austin Davis had the “vaunted” San Francisco defense on their heels in the closing minutes. But, like the true Cinderella-story that they are, the 49ers managed to weather the storm. These scrappy little fellas are trying to prove that they can hang with the big dogs.

    In Arizona, Patrick Peterson continues to get burned with stunning regularity. What isn’t stunning is that the sports media ignores his pedestrian play. Probably because he has outlived his draft-hype, and the media doesn’t care about average players. The Cardinals are dead last in Pass Defense.

    Now let’s hear your feedback. As always, keep your comments relevant to the article and do not use any dirty language*.
    (* – Dirty languages include Mexican, Arabic and Vietnamese.)

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil………………………

    AUTHOR

    nofriendo

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