Ya know there was a time… we ran this.
Something about long shadows in the warm summer evening leading to long hot summer night’s that awakens the old days. This Frednesday we step through SKArgate back into a long dead realm, when it was a simpler time. When men were men and we were plus five hundred, and Kapernerick was only illegal cuz darren ruled the internet that was. In the internet that is, our Kappernikian Jihad isn’t merely legal, it’s soon to be the law of the land, and we suck HUGE donkey balls. This Frednesday we bongripp our way down the rabbit hole into a midsummer night’s dreamscape i call “OH Fremember The Days…”
I remember the first time i logged into the common board, where the nations raged. It was when Alex Smith beat the Steelers on MNF. I think we won like 8 games in a row, quietly. Our defense was absolutely disgusting, PWIlly was in his high prime. We were hitting people like everybody stole. We knocked out the lead RB in every game. Then seattle tried to copy us. The best they could do were adderall fueled cheap shots, cuz they didn’t have the girth to square us up. Oh, they suck now too. Shit, they’re worse today than we are and worse than they were even then. LOL Russel Wilson can’t even see of the line!
…Still though, it was a good time… anyways… back to the common ESPN board, minutes after the victory, i wanted to see the juicyness roll before my eyes. My computer froze about 7 minutes into the rapidly scrolling haze of trolling. It was more than i could handle… it’s unspeakable. That’s exactly what it was. Welcome to the internet that was.
I Fremember the days when…
BILL ONTARIO NEVER LOST
Pete Carroll was going to always be one of the top 10 worst coaches in NFL history
I thought Pete Carroll was above some things
Kurt could smell #6 so bad he changed his name.
Seahawks were 7-9 every year with 15 FHOF’ers on each side of the ball
Nicox was Goldrush.
The women were catfish.
Goldrush was a 9er fan.
iRaven dated from his peer group.
OSS was older than dirt.
Sando thought we were funny.
DHC was only trolling.
SFC wore manshoes
The earth was a globe.
MFAZ had 4 letters (he received an unauthorized reduction btw, so he is MFAX).
ColonX was black,.. and Christian.
EDTGO brought it up top.
Panty raids on the NFCN (WE’VE GOT BUSH)
You know i actually called ESPN. Literally. Everything was so unfair. They didn’t think so. It was like they manned the phones just to be obstinate.
We trolled the guy who modded ESPN. His name was steve. He ran Mzinga. I think we broke the internet.
Munkey actually wasn’t funny when he started. And he dated white women.
Keal was half Camanche.
BMT didn’t exist.
MHB was a little fish in a big pond.
No gifs. No movies. Did we even have pictures? It moved a mile a second. The best hack we had was \Fuck.
Jive had records to delve into. And a home. A truck. A job. Interesting shit to say. Wasn’t bitter. And was named Don D.
Bader worked nights on Wall Street as a midnight trader of some sorts.
Bader wasn’t in jail for laundering money in the dark of night through a greater-Chicagoland-area Jaguar Parts and Service Dept.
All we wanted was cursing and porn. Thanks Keal.
Scotti’s girlfriend worked here. Both of them.
Munkey hadn’t taken any prisoners yet. Poor kids. What’s he get, 500mo/per head? Treats them like wayagu beef, i bet.
The seahawks were never going to win a championship.
America used to root against underhanded, dirty player’s and coaches.
Cheater’s didn’t prosper.
Injuries were never intentional.
Men didn’t scream into the microphone like the NEWS just asked them who shot they momma after winning 1 game.
Pete Carrol was a disgraced college football coach.
The forty niners were an empire.
We ran this.
We ruined the internet. People don’t talk about this much, but we did. I’m not so sure what the interent was before NightCrew, or what it is now. I just remember it better. Then again, sometimes it seems like i never existed there. Aw.. maybe the heat’s getting to me… Well, that about wraps up the summer. Though it’s not like winter’s ever coming again, you know, the Day of the Lord and all that, but Football season is finally back. So, back to reality in the morning. Good night, NightCrew. Freddy sends his best dreams to the innocent sleeping minds of you and yours… adopted, fostered, or rented for posterity’s sake, or being kept marbled for food deep in the cold mountains of Idaho….
“Come, tears, confound;
Out, sword, and wound
The pap of Pyramus;
Ay, that left pap,
Where heart doth hop:
Stabs himself
Thus die I, thus, thus, thus.
Now am I dead,
Now am I fled;
My soul is in the sky:
Tongue, lose thy light;
Moon take thy flight:
Exit Moonshine
Now die, die, die, die, die.
*Dies
Maynard The CFB Guru
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