What we have here, is a failure to communicate. Which, is the way he wants; he gets it. You wanna act like a slave? we’re going to treat you like one. You wanna act like a man? well, you goin’ to jail now!.. IT’S FREDNESDAY!!!
Freddy can’t forsake
the trolls who many a day
held fast the game
in the face of naysayers
who spake The Day of Freddy came
and was faked
alas! we bade in vain
for no sake.
Nay! Proclaim to the faithful
all they who wait for
there will come a day
this page with all we say
will be flamed away, done for
But it dawns on me
like the good way
it ain’t too late
to spike the kool aid
raise praise and the main
gates to celebrate this day
The Man came
and obliterated
the ingrates!
[Frexiles b/g vocals “All ya’all bitches done fuckt up nowwwowowowwwww..”]
Freddy came to remake
not for his own names’ sake
the game he first created
re-made for his own games’ sake
The Man re-creates
the game he made
in his name in the first place
Today’s the day
the namesake came
for the sake of the game
to remake by his own flame
his own game of his own name
on his new day
he created a new game
from the old way
to last passed the last day
But it dawns on me, like the good way
ain’t too late to spike the kool aid
raise the praise and main gates to celebrate
this day The Man came and obliterated the ingrates!
So throw up your arms and
RAISE THIS PLACE
IT’S FRED NES DAY !!!
[Frexiles b/g vocals “All ya’all bitches done fuckt up nowwwowowowwwww..”]
FIRST FREDNESDAY
Wednesday’s just another day on the pagan calendar. It’s named after Odin or Woden, king of the gods, seen here with 2 ravens on his shoulders, beneath a pagan Sun-worship disc. He is “Wednesday”, the pagan name, and why we changed it to Frednesday, the righteous name.
BEHOLD; THE BEARD OF ODIN
In Norse mythology, Odin carries around the severed head of Mímir, which foretells the future. And drinks from the Well of Wisdom – to gain the knowledge of the past, present and future, Odin had to sacrifice one of his eyes. He represents also Poetry, Wisdom and Death. He had two halls: Gladsheim Valaskjalf and Valhalla.
[Frexiles singing background: All ya’all bitches done fuckt up nowwwowowowwwww..]
FADE IN: /Freddy’s LIbrary, Freddy reading by the fire, in his reading chair, in his camels’ hair bible reading jacket, reading the Lord’s word
CLOSE UP: Freddy’s Face
FREDDY: Welcome to The Man’s Library. As a nosy, well-hated child, i learned to occupy myself avoiding eye-contact, especially in other people’s homes. In so doing, something caught my eye, giving me a lesson i’ve never shared, to my own advantage. But today, this Frednesday, the first Fredesday of 2017, i’m going to share that secret with you, in order to tell you something far more important… First is this: You can tell a lot about a man by his bookshelf. The trick is, most people never read enough books to amass two bookshelves, let alone an entire library. Like me.
CAMERA PAN: /sick library, rich mahogany, many leather bound books
FREDDY: See? So, since they have so few books, they display all they have on one bookshelf, where “the books go”. If you ever find yourself a stranger in a home, get to know him quicker than he you; read his bookshelf while he’s in the pisser. Because, you can tell a lot about a man by the books he puts on his shelves….
Take a walk with me, through The Man’s Garden..?
/walks past camera
OUTDOOR: THE MANS’ GARDEN is an oasis of green grass, butterflies, and fragrance, Freddy walks the walk as he talks the talk… speaking off camera
See, all the worlds knowledge is out there, you can’t possibly out-knowledge every man in the world. But you can know more about your competitor than he knows about you. This is the birth of the play-action fake. There’s an advantage to be grabbed in every situation. There’s always the one perfect sentence that gets you exactly what you were seeking, immediately, without fuss, both parties satisfied. The perfect playcall in Tecmo. There’s always the one perfect thing to say in every situation, can you find it? Do you even seek it?
Knowledge, and it’s tables, are of man. Laws, God wrote those. We didn’t write our own laws. “The worker gets his wages.” That’s our law on taxes. A man gets his wages, not taxed. The entire Tax CODE is not a LAW it is a CODE written by man. That’s how you handle your business, lawfully. Peacefully. With words. You have to say something, at some point, to somebody, and better so done in writing. Might as well make it something lawful. The legal man makes it legal, so be a lawful man and speak lawfully. Law trumps code. And we know why. If you ever spot a Black’s Law Dictionary on a mans’ shelf, politely excuse yourself and never look back. You ain’t ready for none of that.
Bitchslap tittie-whack give a troll the bone
Mike’s Fat Ass came trolling home
Fred trolled 1
Tribe trolled 2
Keal trolled her and him and you
Bitchslap tittie-whack give a troll the bone
This Frednesday we troll the globe!
SEADDERALL 2016
Pete hired a man that broke his underling’s jaw, which, in a certain way, highlights the age old adage: Stay away from whores. Men who like whores flock together. Whoremonger’s. Whoremongerer get a lot of tail but never the last one. Not on their own terms at least; better find a chair before the music stops, Cable.
What a mess that franchise became. Now that their season is all but over, all we have to look forward to is hearing them complain why it was the grass’ fault they went one and done, for 6 months. Remember in Washington how it was the grass’ fault? The Northwest Bubble is thicker than God’s Firmament, i swear. It’s like these people are locked in isolation, not caring what sort of criminal is banished to their island. It’s a fresh soul, not yet drained by years of damp darkness and moldy undercarriages.
E.T. broke his femur in a football game. That’s a very rare thing. Kid named Bubba broke his femur in a Jr league game i was in, heard a pop and a boys’ screaming. It’s a horrible way to end a HOF caliber career – short of any hopes of the HOF, or of any substantial contribution to the game, or your future – in pain, all your hopes and dreams dying screaming… rough way to go dark.
God says he will bring a mans’ own ways upon his head. Righteous justice. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Not truly a law he gave to society, but how the Man Upstairs conducts his business. Righteous. Let him cry out to God in all his pain. His ill-begotten jewelry won’t save him. His division banners won’t comfort him. The rain won’t cool him. Let the whole franchise taste the fruits of their unrepentant labors. Let them return to ignominy and possibly seek God. Heathen sunworshippers, the lot a ya.
Sherman bit off more than he could chew in 7 crack binges. This Sunday, the dude literally left his feet to get through secondary traffic, and landed on his tail bone while his man converted a reception for a first down on like 3rd and 25. Sherman was on his back looking the other way as no-name dude scampered 25 yards up the field. I’m the best in the game. You sorry. Largest mouth in the NFL, yet can’t fit all the crow it sowed. His kids will be eating his crow, and his kids’ kid’s. Back in Compton. Hustling Adderall pills to Pete Carroll’s UCLA student Athletes in 2017. Living in Pete’s house with Lynch, Kam, and E.T., making money posting their video-taped visits from RlolW, who will be bringing his wives and daughters over as he babysits for his baby daddy’s.
Talk about Cuck of the Year. Raise my kids Russ, I’ll bang your wife for you. It doesn’t matter who he marries, Tate’s going to bang her while RlolW raises baby daddy’s kids to head board thumps and internet search keyword blocks “NFL WIFE, CUCK, UCLA COLLEGE, EX-SEATTLE PLAYERS, PETE’S HOUSE, LEGION OF BOOM
Year of the Hmungkey is ended. It’s a new day, where righteousness dwells. Implode the Prison Yard Stadium. Send them all back to Pelican Bay and Ryker’s Island. Let them scrimmage at Alcatraz for bread. Join the WWE and brag about how it’s no different. Still just a cage match hopped-up on amphetamines. WOOOOO!
You guys thought you had a dynasty of HOFer’s, not a single one will come from this era. Not one. You got one ring, and it wasn’t worth it.
I was a Cal fan, until Lynch ghost-rode that golf cart on the field. I wanted to go to Cal because the pedigree had panache, until that day. Don’t worry, i ended up at a better school and a cooler campus. Lynch will be on ESPN’s BrokeDix Athletes 2020, laughing from Carroll’s couch while he reads his beeper, about the day he ghost rode that whip… Took you for a ride, that’s for sure. Nobody wants their sons rooting for the dude grabbing his nuts. You compromised sportsmanship, live by it die by it.
Cardinals 2016
What can be said? except that Andrew Luck is a gravy train many coaches will ride to riches. Arians won’t be the last. What was he going to do with the Red Rocket anyhow? That fuel cell blew it’s O-ring in like ’96. Runnin’ on fumes. Heartbroke, earning tenure. Speed-wobbles coasting through the parking lot, The guy quit on you in the Super Bowl. I heard it with my own ears. Fitz retired, don’t know if you guys knew that. Your RB exploded, he was good too, apparently. What’s left?
You went 13-3 but suffered emergent bowel inflammation. Couldn’t stomach success, now the walls are covered in crap clumps, hardening in the lonesome desert sun.
You should have got Luck instead of Arians. Aw well, you made it to the Super Bowl, it all didn’t end in total disgrace. Just a team, filled with a bunch of J.A.G.’s, coached by just a coach, in in just a state, in just a city, rooted on by just a bunch of fans. Arizona fans on SKA 2016 in Freview: buncha J.A.F.’s rooting on a buncha J.A.G.’s.
RAMS 2016
Talk about lost in translation, how about lost in transportation? That’s what this is. A team lost in the Sierra Nevada Mountain range since week 1. 2016 for the Rams started by rallying the Taco Trucks to escape Trump jokes about building a wall. In a John Madden-like protest they decided to go by wagon over the Sierra Nevadas. A reverse curse, for those of you who know why Madden doesn’t fly. Last we heard they were eating each other’s babies, like a Clinton Foundation Fundraiser. Except more starving less profit. More books cooking less #SpiritCooking.
We don’t know what Goff is going to be, he’s younger than the Navi’s. But at least they fired Fisher, that’s like evacuating 3 days storage of Taco Truck lunches. Way more relief than firing Chip, but less release than firing Baalke. Baalke unplugged a hoover dam of horseshit.
4Xers
The 4Xers won another championship this year, a moral victory over enemies within. Jeddy listened to his uncle Freddy and jettisoned the bad son. We’ve rooted out the mole. He told you he smelt a rat. What sort of puss GM is the rat in his own organization? What kinda Mickey Mouse organization we runnin’ here, anyway? Nobody cares. ISIS isn’t even targeting the stadium anymore, due to minimal casualty impact on gameday. They called Kap off mid-season, because nobody jihads an empty place.
The State of the Franchise is such that we have one very small window, just one single shot at getting this right. The first step is the last step, and it’s a blind one with Jeddy at the helm. JP will have a good time debating talent and FO moves, other than that, it’s not like some whiz kid coach is coming out of nowhere to lead this ragged bunch to the NFCChampionship game next year, that’s a once in a lifetime proposition and jed cut bait on that dude already. But he did it classy. So he we are…
OH, Bob thought i said something rude to Tribe. Bob, in today’s jihad, the argument must be framed. Once the argument is properly framed, it solves itself. Tribe is being conditioned to forsake his freedoms, problem is all of ours go with his. So he’s the point man on holding all of America above water. You asked. This is also a joke, but he is allowing himself to be programmed by bad actors in the media. I believe the power is actually in the lights coming out of our screens. I digress…
AWARDS
BKOB wins SKA Writer of the Year for outstanding performance at being the very best all-around author SKA has to offer!
Congrats Mr. SKAWOTY, everybody really appreciates the outstanding work you produce for our eyes, minds, and hearts each week. You deserve exactly what you’re getting. Let’s hear it for SKAWOTY!!!
[All ya’ll bitches done fukt up nowowowwowww]
OTHER RESULTS
SKA Comeback Blogger of the year: FRED
SKA Writer’s Guild Award for service to the blog: FRED
Lord Keals Pin of Well-Pleased: FRED
Most clicked day of the week: FRED
Most commented story: FRED
Most uplifting commentary: FRED
.and based upon these results:
THE SKA MVP for 2016 goes to:
BOB
Good Job, Bob, Knowledge Tables literally would not exist without you, and BKOB wouldn’t have won himself SKAWOTY 2016. So it’s like you ran the table. Good job, Bob!
Welp, my pet Frex-addicts, 2016 really wrapped our colons around our necks, eh? What a horseshit year that was. Did you hear David Bowie died? Yeah, and turns out Carrie Fisher was a total whore, just like you always dreamed you geeks. 2016, the year Aybody died. Only good news is there’s nobody left to die in 2017. We lost all the generations almost, but the Millennials and their older siblings. Oh man, could this year be worse? With only who’s left, the worlds guided by kids trying to jack into Tron… Maybe that’s where we’ll blog from in 2018, Lord Keal’s SKATron. We can only hope.
There’s still time to spike the kool aid
Here’s to a year that changes everything for the better, for everybody,
MARANATHA [Our Lord Come]
