Cloister’s Mock 3.0
Keal might actually permaban me when he sees the Cardinals and Seahawks picks (if he ever reads this), but so be it. To the picks!
Kliff Dingleberry loves him some Tyrone Lannister. And he should absolutely take him if he believes he’s special. I’m buying into the rumors and predraft hype. Rosen is a sunk cost and AZ should be able to recoup a nice draft pick or 2 by moving him.
Quinnen Williams is tempting, but San Francisco needs more than just Dee Ford on the edge and the team has already invested 3 high first round picks on Thomas, Buckner, and Armstead to man the interior. Bosa is a day one starter with a high floor that would give the 49ers one of the better front fours in the league.
The Buccaneers get a gift in Quinnen Williams. Devin White makes sense here as well if Williams doesn’t slide, but it seems every draft that the teams picking in the top 5 don’t value beast DT’s as highly as they should, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Williams even slides a bit further.
I honestly have no idea where Gary winds up getting picked. He’s pretty freaky as an athlete and was rated the top overall recruit coming out of high school. His production numbers at Michigan are far from impressive, but he impacted games and can be moved all over a defensive front. The Giants could use an impact defensive lineman after (and even before) trading Olivier Vernon this offseason.
I know it’s a popular pick here, but overrated Aaron Rodgers needs the help. Hockensonhas beast potential as an in-line TE and would pay immediate dividends in both the running and passing game for Green Bay.
Passing on DK Metcalf and a couple of QB’s here might not make some happy, but Sweat is one of seemingly many freak athletes from this class and Washington has an opening on the edge opposite Ryan Kerrigan. As long as he checks out medically, Sweat would be a great get here. While he isn’t overly twitchy, he has rare speed for the position and has the length and strength to keep OT’s from swallowing him up (phrasing, I know).
After trading away their superstar WR and signing slot receiver Golden Tate to pair with slot receiver Sterling Shepard and bigger slot receiver Evan Engram, the Giants get the complete opposite in DK Metcalf. Yet another freak athlete, Metcalf has a great release off the LOS and will stretch the field for Eli in 2019 and then for Rosen in 2020 and beyond.
Seattle desperately needs more draft picks and finds a trade partner with plenty to spare in New England. New England desperately needs a playmaker on the outside. Butler fills that need and actually kind of reminds me of a sober Josh Gordon.
The Eagles got scooped! Baldinger could very well be full of shit with his take that the Eagles and Colts are targeting the same player. But if it’s true, Jeffery Simmons is a player that makes sense. He’s a top 10 talent that would be a fantastic fit for any attacking style front. But he’s not the pick here because the Colts traded up ahead of the Eagles to take him. Jerry Tillery is a nice consolation prize who, in my opinion, is being a bit underrated by those in the draft community. His senior season at Notre Dame can really only be described as dominant. He would immediately factor into the Eagles’ defensive tackle rotation, eventually starting in place of Malik Jackson.
After spending their top pick in 2017 and their top 2 picks in 2018 on cornerbacks, the packers complete their secondary by signing Adrian Amos and drafting Nasir Adderley. A former cornerback, Adderley has fantastic range to go along with his man cover skills. He would give the Packers the playmaker in the secondary they once thought they had in Haha Clinton-Dix.
The Redskins jump back into the first round to take a dookie. There’s more than a chance that they’ll reach and just take him outright at pick 15, but both Jones and Drew Lock just aren’t first round QB’s imo. However, that doesn’t usually keep teams from taking QB’s on day 1. So I cheated and have both Jones and Lock getting drafted at the back end of the round via teams trading back into it.
Doug Baldwin just had his 40th surgery of the offseason. Even if he’s ready for week 1, the Seahawks could use another weapon for Russell Wilson. Harry is an all-around WR with great hands and a huge catch radius. Seriously Keal, please don’t ban me.
Fivers
I’m pretty sure there was semen on my flatizza the other day but I ate it anyways it was SO good…