“Just remember what ol’ Fred Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Fred Burton just looks that big ol’ mfax right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best meme, pal. I can take it.”
RlolW just threw another pick.
Welcome back, Frexlings, it’s Frednesday again! Boy O boy was this week a doozy. This week requires neither pomp nor circumstance for introduction, so this Frednesday is lighter on the formalities. It’s cold outside so burn a log, heat a cocoa, dial Lisa’s number one more time maybe she’ll pick up, because it’s Frednesday!
The Los Angeles Rams fired the losingest coach in the history of losing, Jeffery Follow Me and I Will Make You Fisher’s for Wins, mercifully after 22 years of life sucking mediocrity not a hair better than abject failure. Bill Belichick could go 0-16 for six straight years and still have a higher winning %age than Jeff Fisher. Frankly, we’re all better off in our actual personal lives now that he’s been fired. It’s not appropriate that he’s also been bought off for another $14 million. Want to know how to rig it? Buy losses. All those rigged Wins come with an L and that L has to fall on somebody and that somebody better be in on it or he’s gonna be real pissed off going 8-8 for lyfe with nothing to show for it because he went 8-8 for his entire life. So he pinched him off 14. Jeff is laughing. It’s all us who have lost.
Thank you very much Rams fans. Thanks for the Wins. May you land Jim Harbaugh, and a Fred to follow. Until then, the basic feeling around these parts, and don’t expect me to justify this, but the general gist is ya’ll deserve to suffer. lol
What happened in your game anyway, you guys got blown out 78-0? That was horrific. That was a horrific football game. No thank you. Only good news is the Old Mustachioed Bandito jokes are retired for the rest of Frexmas.
Or was that Arizona that lost 78-0? Can i ask you something, Is it worth our time for me to look up the scores? Truly, the good news is you aren’t Russel Wilson. Or the Seahawks. Could you imagine being married to Short-Stak’O’Shortcummings, Captain Cuck, King Cukencumonherandme, WOW, remember when everybody was telling you, ‘Wait until you have to pay your defense and Lynch leaves and Earl Tomas’ pops his puss out in full view of mankind…’ well, you didn’t listen, and look at you now. 5 Interceptions? Is that a record? It seems like he would have suffered physical fatigue at 4. 4 is a LOT of interceptions. 5 is Book of Life high.
Throw popcorn now. Whoopee!
DGdub, i’m sorry for being mean to you. It was my mistaken impression you were a grown man. I had not realized you were a front-running baby. Have fun rooting for Dallas. We’re calling you Darren now.
“Is this gonna get ugly, now? Huh? I hope not. Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends. You know, just both of us Californians.”
I sat down catching the game at 14-0 4Xers; first thought: Oh we’re losing this one. Tragically. looking back the thing was the Jets looked like the absolute worst football team i have ever seen. And just when you could see the Xers thinking they might be better than somebody the game turned. Honestly, Tribe and i wanted something a little more Fisher-like in terms of a debacle of a loss, but it doesn’t get much worse. The fact that no heads have rolled in Santa Clarita proves the ineptitude of our franchise is worse than the Rams right now. You shoulda seen their loss, it was almost as bad as Arizona’s, which was so nasty it almost reeked like the rain-laden garbage pile Seattle fielded Sunday. Wolf Grey. What an absolute disgrace. Ah, Frexmas…
“Which MFAX? Little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall blogblock?”
MFAX: [Catches Fred’s knife in mid air, pauses to examine it, nodding in approval] Good knife. Goodbye, Mr. Burton.
[throws it]
Fred Burton: [quickly catches knife and throws it back, hitting mfaX right between the eyes]
You know Scotti doesn’t talk to me anymore. It’s like i see little scottie-dog’s everywhere nowadays…
It’s occurred to me i have enough material to do a Fred Daily page, you should give me a tab. You know, since it all ends in a few months anyway…
As a sidenote, the timing of everything is working and thanks to everybody for posting these and reading these and ignoring me when i come on and acting like Frednesdays aren’t the start of a worldwide movement, but Frednesdays are the only morning i get on the computer at 6am, and my Frexmas wish is to start waking up to Frednesday mornings like all the rest of the little Fredling’s and Frexiles of the world…
“When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Fred Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya repented, Fred?” “Yessir, washed in the blood of the Lamb.”‘
Welp, that about does her, LARPER’s and Lisa. Here’s to America’s colors, the colors that never run. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
