Fredemption Frednesday Holiday Celebration – Fredsgiving

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    Welcome Back! Thank you for joining us this week for our very special Holiday Frednesday Celebration! Stay home from work another day, say thanks, and slaughter living meat, it’s Frednesday Fredsgiving!!

    Mihammi Dolphins 14
    TT (Turkey Tacos) 10

    Ham and Turkey, that’s about what this one added up to. One Fredsgiving we were hung over from romping around the old romping grounds lusting after booze and the later-bloomers returned home from college on Fredsgiving break. Anyway, morning after, late morning, like 2pm, going for breakfast, in the car, calling out hangover foods, can’t decide on an option, driver gets mad, looks at us and says, “Decide already! Jeez, between the two of you, you couldn’t put together a ham sandwich!” We been laughing at that one ever since. Went to INandOut.

    Like literally, if you had the ham sandwich components laid out; two pieces of white bread already spread, a leaf of lettuce, tomato slice, Kraft Singles already-peeled, and 2 ham slices, you couldn’t put it together properly. With the both of you standing there, literally, ‘Between the 2 of you, you couldn’t put together a ham sandwich.”
    This game and Fredsgiving reminded me of that joke – though it’s true, so it’s not a joke. As a joke it was kinda sad, as real life it was kinda funny. Real life funny. Just like this game.

    Patriots 30
    4Xers 17

    17 points? That’s a loser’s total. Listen Chip, 17 points buys you a ticket to running Keal’s wife’s errands; riding shotgun in a rusty Bronco sipping Coors Lights in the desert is no place to waste away a Fredsgiving, Chip. Ask Jim Harbaugh. Or iRavens.

    Coach Chip Kelly with a few words on his teams loss, “We don’t… uhhh-mmm…”

    “17 points on offense will lose you alotta games, lol.” – Jeff Fisher

    Eagles 15
    Hawks 26

    You know, there’s lots to be thankful for this Fredsgiving. If you got warm tootsies, and something alive that doesn’t hate you in your lap, and it’s not pouring rain outside, in some god-forsaken shallow in the northern reaches of bumfu… there’s lots to be thankful for. I’m grateful we have Hawk fans here, and knowledge tables, hawaiianhonkey going full potato, i’m thankful for untainted blessings and righteous gains, sportsmanship, and good, clean wholesome trolling of 7-9 never-has-beens who never will. I’m even sort of thankful they did… sorta speak…
    Remember when Alex Smith ruined their Christmas? Ahh the Holidays..

    Cards 24
    Minnesota 30

    Cards got their doors blown off, basically. This one zipped right passed them at record speed. Literally, NFLN recorded both touchdowns in these little shoulderpad computer chips thingies: They were the fastest recorded touchdowns ran by a human man this season. It was a double-display of the fastest human alive contest. Arizona lost both heats. It was like they didn’t see them. Ghost touchdowns, so fast you hardly saw em. Like water in the desert, gone before you can lick up your hopes and dreams. Welp, that was quick.

    Things We Are Thankful For:
    We’re more than half way through the season
    At least we don’t have Cam Newton in our division
    Did you guys see that horrific left-armed prayer RlolW threw-up to Jimmy I am the Glass Man Graham Cracker Crumbles? I am thankful i don’t have to pretend that nonsense is cool. Like when Lynch grabbed his nuts. It became the new head-nod in Seattle instantly. Everybody was grabbing their nuts to say hello and excuse me the next day. I’m thankful i don’t have to pretend prison rules, nut-grabs, abusing psychotropic medications, and gay ass lucky touchdown passes are cool.
    I’m grateful Keal made SKA, so you guys could read this.
    For Lisa, who truly is a woman and we are grateful she hasn’t left like the rest of scotti’s girlfriends
    For MHB, who keeps us in his grace and humor
    For Scotti, who’s the only reason i stay here
    For Lord Keal, for making livefyre and having mfax write the SKA code, ask him do make another.
    I’m grateful Bader has lost his shit; the man’s clearly institutionalized. The world has nothing left for him, it would be a mercy to send him back in the penn.
    I’m grateful we’re gonna have this place however much longer we’re gonna have it.
    That Munkey can find his way out of the woods
    That facebook comments took Reggio and Alzheimers
    I’m grateful that Ron is here everyday at 5am, creeping the neighbors out, just wishing he could wake-up to a Frednesday every now and then, i’m sure…
    I’m grateful the voice in iRavens’ head said Arizona not California. Keal, no matter what he says – the man is not a baby sitter.

    From the Ghost of Frednesday’s Past:

    View post on imgur.com

    Join us next week as we celebrate the Five Frednesdays Till Frexmas, where we hope just once before Freddy is raptured he gets to wake up to Frednesday. Why don’t the boys and girls get to wake up to Fredesdays? All the other kids in the world get to wake up to Frednesday. Give the kids their Frednesday mornings, is what Fred wants for Christmas. Till next week, give thanks, break your bread, sip your wine, and remember, all good things come from our heavenly Father above. Thank him. Thank somebody for anything you ungratef…

    Thank you.
    Freddy

    AUTHOR

    nofriendo

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