Welcome Back! This week we recap the 28-0 whiplash Blaine and the Chips layed on the hopes and dreams of los angelos, we ignore Sham Fruit Newton, we point and laugh at Seattle as we look toward their rainy, hopeless future, we ask, “Who’s the 4th team in the division?” and we reiterate that the world is flat as God is soon to judge the world by fire in this Frednesday’s Forty-Niner Fisticuff.
Last Week’s Recap
9ers won, shut-out style, 28-0. 4 offensive touchdowns, maybe. And many gypped fans sweltered in direct sun all day cursing the Lord of the Levi’s, Jed Wunderkid York. Richie Rich with a bottom streak. This owner has his teeny head so far up Baalke’s rear-end he’s brushing Baalke’s huge molars with his tongue. It’s a horrible thing to witness. Somebody took a knee on America – and everybody applauded. Notice how they had a 14 year old play our anthem – wordlessly – on a violin. Then on MNF some opera hog absolutely murdered our anthem, live. More dudes quit on freedom. Islam bombed New Jersey, after about 3 bombs went off they caught the guy, hid his political ideology for a day then came out and said, “We found a guy, it appears he might be of muslim nature possibly, but he says the bag with the other 3 bombs was swiped before he could place them!” The police chief said. “SO it’s OK, no more bombs!” (true story) Whew.
Sunday’s Recap
Uhh. that wasn’t a fumble.
Where were we..?
Ahh, thaaat’s right.. the earth is flat. What you see there is the shadow of K2 at dawn. As you can see, the earth is flat. Good job, everybody.
But to lay it out for you, based upon reality, that shadow must be as long as K2 is high, which is something like 28,000 feet. 10 miles is 52,800 feet. The curve of the earth from that height should be something like 16inches per 10mi^2 or 1600 inches or like 1,000 feet of curvature between the camera and the tip of that shadow. The exact imaginary curve math of what the curve should look like doesn’t really matter because do you see a foot of curve? Me neither. We are in Tron. It’s supposed to be kinda simple, because we aren’t staying here. We are in Tron if Tron was the prep world for eternity in reality. We’re like catepillars. You know what a caterpillar cocoon is called? CHRYSalis. Resurrected to glory.
Housekeeping:
Frednesday is from Sundown Tuesday to Sunup Thursday. It’s a 33 hour day, cuz it’s the best day. During Frednesday, if an article is available, it’s up. K, Chuckward?
Seattle is in 4th place. Again.
They suck huuuuuuge donkey balls.
Tigre asked me last Frednesday what my pick-em team was. Somebody suggested the Browns. I said, i’ll take the Browns and when they win Mr. Mouthtastic and his buddy over there can eat all the dix.
The Browns won. So they can eat all the dix now.
Hi Munkee. Miss ya, bud.
Remember, if at any point a Frednesday article doesn’t show, praise the Lord, Freddy went to heaven.
Maynard The CFB Guru
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