NFCW – Page 16 – SPIKED KOOLAID

ESPN: Progress Reports for NFCW 1st round draft picks

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By: nofriendo

June 11, 2019

No. 1: Arizona Cardinals QB Kyler Murray: The only access to Murray on the field is through stretching and individual drills, so it’s tough to get a true gauge on how he looks, but one thing is for sure: His passes are crisp. They seem to jump off his hand and his long passes land…

MFA’s WIFE PRESENTS: PETITION FOR DIVORCE

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By: nofriendo

June 10, 2019

My husband is going through his fourth life crisis. He is obese, bald, bankrupt, short and sexually inept. MFA has been meeting with a therapist in order to fix his life but to no avail. Our marriage is falling apart. We have no money. The bank is about to repossess his Bosley wig for the…

K1 PRESENTS: NFCW OTA Headlines

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By: nofriendo

June 5, 2019

Cardinals: Carson Palmer To Be Inducted Into Cardinals Ring Of Honor alongside Keal’s Jetta which has seen more oil changes than Cardinals wins. Orlovsky: Murray ‘one of the great all-time QB prospects’ if not for his micropenis. He’s the leader’: Cardinals teammates react to Patrick Peterson attending voluntary OTAs after PED scandal involving the use…

5 Dysfunctional Krunks of SKA Revealed: MikefromAZ’s True Story

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By: SKA Intern

May 25, 2019

The term dysfunctional is defined as “abnormal or impaired functioning” on the part of an individual person, between people in any sort of relationship, or amongst members of a family. Poor functioning refers to both behavior and relationships that aren’t working and have one or more negative, unhealthy aspects to them, such poor communication or…

TRIBE PRESENTS: Fair and Balanced NFCW Draft Grades

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By: SKA Intern

May 3, 2019

Cardinals: C- Their alcoholic General Manager drafted Josh Rosen and then traded him a way a year later. Ok, whatever, fine. So they drafted a 5’9 QB with the number one overall pick. Their best hope is that he becomes Russell Wilson but that is unlikely. This team has gaping holes everywhere like Bader’s girlfriend…

NFL Draft Trollthread – Sponsored by YAGA

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By: SKA Intern

April 25, 2019

Round 1 draft order Arizona Cardinals San Francisco 49ers New York Jets Oakland Raiders Tampa Bay Buccaneers New York Giants Jacksonville Jaguars Detroit Lions Buffalo Bills Denver Broncos Cincinnati Bengals Green Bay Packers Miami Dolphins Atlanta Falcons Washington Redskins Carolina Panthers New York Giants (from Cleveland Browns) Minnesota Vikings Tennessee Titans Pittsburgh Steelers Seattle Seahawks Baltimore…

BKOB Presents: Curated Ignorance

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By: BKOB

April 16, 2019

Greetings, Knowledge Seekers. Laugh with me, won’t you, as we delve into the delusional fantasies of the Knowledge Haters. These misguided sheep honestly believed their NFCW-serfdom had come to an end. Ciara conspiracy theories have run rampant since the #CollapeOfReality “Danny O’neil is a smart man” …I’m speechless But, but… it says “Report:” Lisa loves…

CARDINALS QB CONUNDRUM: EVALUATED

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By: nofriendo

March 29, 2019

With all the media hysteria surrounding the Cardinals, Josh Rosen, Kyler Murray and the #1 overall pick, I have taken it upon myself to analyze this situation thoughtfully, logically and without bias. Every asshole with a twitter account and aspirations of being the next Adam Schefter have all chimed in with their “sources” and “hot…

BABAJI PRESENTS: The OFFICIAL SKA NFCW Free Agency Tracker

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By: nofriendo

March 14, 2019

(Only teams relevant to the NFCW, its users, abusers, and hangers-on) Forgetaboutit, Niners: Signed running back Tevin Coleman from the Falcons. Why? The Niners need mudders, like Roger Craig, and Carlos Hyde. These indoor carpet dancers like Jerrick McKinnon tear their ACL’s as soon as their ballet slippers touch actual soil. Signed pass rush specialists…

K1’s NFC West Off-Season Preview: Part 2

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By: nofriendo

February 20, 2019

This segment of the series will cover the Arizona Cardinals, and the 5 Time Superbowl Champion San Francisco 49ers. San Francisco 49ers: 4-12 3rd place in the NFC West. 1-5 vs the NFC West Reasons for Optimism: Realistically there is no way they end up with 17 players on IR in 2019. Going into the…