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    OSS: Older than Dirt

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    An American man who claims to be the longest living human in recorded history has described how he “just wants to die”. OSS, from Bremerton Washington, was born on December 31, 1870, according to the date of birth on his identity card. Now officials at the local record office say they have finally been able…

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    VEGAS PRESENTS: WHY THE NINERS WILL WIN THE NFCW

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    As requested by absolutely no one, this article will detail why the Niners will unseat the Seahawks and Cardinals as the best team in the NFCW this season. Before I get into the details, I’d like to give a shout out to SacSig for having my back everytime Munkey calls me a fag when I’m…

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    FPS PRESENTS: The Frednesday Forty-Niner Fracas

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    This weekend the 49ers played preseason game 1, from which Abdul Shareef Kapernick was held out due to suicide bombing fears. Apparently his detonation hand is fatigued, which hasn’t happened since Kyrgastanian Training Camps, but they still wanted be cautious with him. The training staff expects him to continue rehab in Iran. “As long as…

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    Seahawks 53 Man Roster Prediction 1.0

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    Here is the early preseason prediction for the 53 man roster for the Seahawks leading into the 2016 season. Quarterback (2) / 25 Offense KEEP: Russell Wilson, Trevone Boykin PS: Jake Heaps Cut: None Running Back (4) KEEP: Thomas Rawls, Alex Collins, C.J. Prosise, Christine Michael PS: Tani Tupou, Jonathan Amosa, Zac Brooks CUT: Troymaine…

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    MUNKEY PRESENTS: JIMMY GRAHAM – A SETTLED DEBT TO SILENT BOB

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    Jimmy Graham Shortly after Seattle traded stuff for Jimmy Graham one of our resident Seahawk fans, Silent Bob, may have voiced some doubt as to how helpful Graham would be to our vaunted offense, or something. I don’t remember. At any rate, something caused me to assure him that I would write an article for…

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    Deadspin – Why Your Team Sucks: Niners

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    Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: San Francisco 49ers. Oh, did I say San Francisco…

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    MMQB: SCOUTING THE NFCW

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    Scouting Arizona: The Proficiency of Palmer Why you should keep believing in the veteran quarterback. Plus, the greatness of Patrick Peterson, the true value of Larry Fitzgerald, the rising star of David Johnson, and why Chandler Jones might not be the pass-rush solution the Cardinals need 1. The last time we saw Carson Palmer, he was hurling interceptions…

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    Melania Trump’s Mariners Update of the Week

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    We just needed a new article, as the previous one was getting too bloated, and Vegas has not written a Pokémon article yet. And let me take this opportunity to say that Vegas is rude and ornery when it comes to the Mariners. The Updates! Melania’s Mariners Update of the Day – 7/20/2016 Sadly the…

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    Keal’s Mariners Update of the day

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    Or For His Love of the Game I have made it no secret that I have not always been a Mariners (or baseball) fan. For over 60 years, I have disliked baseball. I could never get into the speed of the game, nor the lack of significance of each individual game. Games seemed too long,…

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    It’s Time to End the NFL International Series

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    Yesterday, I got an update that the 49ers will play the Rams in China in 2018, which will be the first time an NFL team plays a game in China. It will be the thirteenth season that the NFL has played games outside the US. Roger Goodell is so hellbent on expanding American football worldwide…

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