Not unlike our own MFA, the manatee from Apalachicola is a majestic sea creature that spends most of its days soaking up the sun while lying in an ocean of its own filth. This beautiful animal is listed as an endangered species due to douche bags that drive their over-priced, tiny-dick compensating speed boats through the Floridian waterways. These ass-faced clowns do so with utter disregard and sometimes even contempt for the life of this simple creature. They are ignorant. They do not appreciate the hilarity of a giant, legless cow that is in over its head despite living in shallow waters.
Stop the Madness.
Stop the Hate.
Manatee Lives Matter.
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*Article Update: Manatee’s have been removed from the US Endangered Species list, but I did not know this until after I wrote the piece. The comparison is still valid. Please forward all complaints to your mother.
Too Short™
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