Dear Motherfucker,
I hate your site. Why are there so few titties? Why am I not allowed to post fat Uruguayan lesbians fucking chubby Congolese midgets? How come I can’t listen to Three Doors Down while looking at sweet flashing text meme’s? Why are there so many racist people here? Why are minorities allowed to visit the site? Why do white people smell like bologna? Why do you deny your Mexican heritage?
Mike is having a BBQ to celebrate the official opening of his site later this month. At night, we are all going to swim in his pool of dirt under the majestic glow of the power lines. All of you are probably invited, but I haven’t cleared it with him yet. I’m sure it will be fine.
BK, Keal told me to see you about collecting my money for these articles. Please send $15,734 to me via Western Union or Google Pay I guess. If I don’t receive payment soon, I will be forced to contact the FBI’s Blog Writer’s Non-Payment Department (it exists, fuck you).
Also, Nav said that the Mariner’s will probably win the WS this year, though he will likely deny this vigorously, it’s true. Trust me, you can’t lie on the Internet.
In conclusion, Bernie Sanders is going to be the next President and I will finally be able to retire and live off of the combined tax dollars of DGDub, SF4905, Loyal, and Sac. God bless America!
Love Always,
Noshoes2
P.S. I am probably the most humble person on the blog, and definitely the richest (made 5mil last week building Wix sites from home, email me for tips). But there is not point in being humble if you don’t receive a ton of praise for it, so had to make sure everyone knew.
Brew_City
Asian Twins?