THE REAL BKOB REPORT: WEEK 10

    835 425 BKOB

    Good morning SKA users. It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to Arm Yourselves… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

    I’ve got a riddle for you, Knowledge Seekers… What has a passer rating higher than every QB in the NFL Hall of Fame, a higher Yards-Per-Carry average than Jim Brown, and more Playoff Wins than the last seven #1 Overall Drafted QBs combined? No, it’s not Chuck Norris, MFA, or the Most Interesting Man in the World. It’s Russell Carrington Wilson!! And according to the giant countdown ticker I keep mounted on the wall of my Knowledge Cave, he has finally passed the 1,500 pass attempt threshold!

    Huzzah!! Blow the horn! Pluck the lute! Deport the Muslims! Do all sorts of things that signify the significance of this symbolically suasive situation (statistically speaking)!!

    This means that Russell now qualifies for Career Passing Records in the NFL. Let’s take a moment – shall we? – and examine the numbers. Let us see where the little guy stacks up against the other giants of this great game.

    http://imgur.com/XleUk7R

    What a magical little dude. Now let’s see those numbers stacked up against the other noteworthy active QBs under the age of 30.

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    Truly amazing. Not only is Russell #1 in every category, he’s the only one who even makes the Top 3 in every category. Of course, it goes without saying that he’s 1st in wins, game winning drives, playoff wins and Super Bowls. And none of these stats make any mention of his astounding rushing skills.

    Every NFCW fan has been blessed with the privilege of watching this guy’s extraordinary career unfold. Every time he takes the field, he has an opportunity to make history. And even in this “down year” – a year in which he will be sacked no fewer than 60 times (and elude 60 more, with his masterful scrambling ability) – he is still putting up efficiency statistics that do justice to his legendary legacy. Bravo, good sir! Speaking of which…

    Yo, Dawg! I heard you like Stats! So we put some Stats in your Stats so you can Stats while you STATS!!!!!!!!!

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    Passers (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    C Palmer     197/308 (64.0%) 2,749yds 8.93ypa 23td 7int 108.0prtg
    R Wilson     175/266 (65.8%) 2,118yds 7.96ypa 10td 7int 91.6prtg
    N Foles    145/256 (56.6%) 1,678yds 6.56ypa 7td 6int 75.9
    B Gabbert    15/25 (60.0%) 185yds 7.40yp 2td 2int 76.3prtg

    Rushers (Ranked by Yards)
    C Johnson    166att 734yds 4.4ypa 3td 2fum
    T Gurley    130att 709yds 5.5ypa 5td 1fum
    C Hyde    115att 470yds 4.1ypa 3td 1fum
    M Lynch    111att 417yds 3.8ypa 3td 0fum
    T Rawls    71att 395yds 5.6ypa 1td 0fum
    R Wilson    64att 355yds 5.5ypa 0td 1fum

    What’s changed?
    Who even starts in the NFCW anymore?? Do I seriously need to look up stats from people like Case Keenum and Blaine Gabbert, and place them in the same tables as Russell Wilson?? What’s going on in this crazy world! I guess that’s what happens when your division is home to the 31st and 32nd ranked offenses.

    My Analysis:
    Well, I’m afraid I spent too much time staturbating over Russell Wilson’s stupendous career, and I really have no time left to discuss the games from this weekend. That’s kind of a bummer, but these articles are too long as it is. Also, when you think about it, what makes Russell Wilson’s career even more incredible is his amazing durability. Even with his porous offensive line (and his uncanny ability to run for hundreds of yards at a time), the guy has never missed a snap because of injury. Heck, he’s never missed a practice. That sort of toughness will serve him well as he continues to dominate the NFL for decades to come.

    And now, how about your feedback? I think this is my finest article yet. Tell me how much you agree!

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil………..

    AUTHOR

    BKOB

    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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