The Real BKOB Report: Week 11 Edition

    835 425 BKOB

    Good morning SKA users. It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to Arm Yourselves… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

    The Reviews are n!!

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    Thank you so much, folks! You’re really much too kind. Now for my next trick, let’s look at some STATS!!!

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    Passers (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    C Palmer – 141/224 62.9% 1,626yds (7.26ypa) 11td 3int 95.6prtg
    C Kaepernick – 179/289 61.9% 2,166yds (7.5ypa) 13td 5int 92.7prtg
    R Wilson – 162/259 62.5% 1,841yds (7.11ypa) 11td 5int 89.9prtg
    A Davis – 180/284 63.4% 2,001yds (7.05ypa) 12td 9int 85.1prtg
    D Stanton – 46/93 49.5% 614yds (6.60ypa) 3td 0int 81.6prtg

    Rushers (Ranked by Yards per Attempt)
    R Wilson – 66att 500yds 7.6ypa 4td 3fum
    C Kaepernick – 58att 298yds 5.1ypa 0td 3fum
    M Lynch – 153att 689yds 4.5ypa 9td 1fum
    T Mason – 63att 270yds 4.3ypa 1td 1fum
    F Gore – 139att 553yds 4.0ypa 2td 0fum
    A Ellington 167att 582yds 3.5ypa 3td 2fum

    What’s changed?
    There’s going to be some changes in my player rankings. Starting now, Zac Stacy is disqualified from the rusher rankings, and Tre Mason has taken his spot. Stacy had gotten FIVE carries in the past THREE games and he has RUINED MY FANTASY SEASON!!! From now on his name must never be spoken during The Real BKOB Report.

    Also, this is the last time Carson Palmer will be featured in the passer rankings. His season ends with a 95.6 passer rating, which is currently the best in the division. With Colin Kaepernick completing less than half of his passes this week, and Russell Wilson having thrown one touchdown pass in the past three games, you have to wonder if ANYONE will reach the mark set by Palmer. I’d leave his stats up as a memorial, but they are no longer relevant for trolling purposes. Rest In Peace, Carson Palmer’s Season.

    My Analysis:
    I’ve got a riddle for you. What do you get when you mix a terrible passing defense, a defensive line that can’t get any sacks, a below average offense, and a decade’s worth of injuries? Why, you get the 8-1 Arizona Cardinals, the best football team in the world! They’re doing everything they can to win these games, heck I even saw Putrid Patrick Peterson get a pick six for the first time in his miserable career. Now I’ve seen it ALL!

    These guys just can’t WAIT to get exposed… right?? I mean, all of these negative things will eventually manifest themselves into losses… RIGHT!? They have a meeting with the OTHER surprise team in the NFC this year, The Detroit Lions.

    Meanwhile the Seahawks have won three straight. They have regained a bit of their defensive identity from a year ago and BOY CAN THEY RUN IT!!! (ALL GLORY TO MARSHAWN LYNCH, THE WORLD’S BIGGEST BADASS!!!) But what is the deal with this passing attack?

    I said weeks ago that, with a porous offensive line and the absence of a #1 wideout, the Seahawks’ passing attack would rely on trickeration, misdirectionification and general chicanery (see how unbiased I am?) but THIS is a bit much! Perry Fewell may have been amused, but I do NOT think that running Russell Wilson like a running back is a sustainable gameplan.

    I’m sure the coaching staff probably saw a major weakness in the Giants’ defense that they wanted to exploit. Hopefully they can get the passing game in order as more guys come back from injury.

    And the scrappy San Francisco 49ers continue to cling to life after an OT nail-biter in New Orleans. So at least they have that.

    And now, how about your feedback? Remember, if you send in a $1000 donation to SKA, we’ll send you a personalized Golden Boner Award trophy, just like you’ve seen on TV!

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil.

    AUTHOR

    BKOB

    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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