Good morning SKA users. It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to Arm Yourselves… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!
The 2015 Season has come to an end, and what a season it’s been. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve dented our kitchen appliances and we’ve had a whole lot of fun. It was a season full of excitement and drama right down to very last snap. Except for the Rams and Niners. They were awful, and for them the excitement and drama ended months ago. Anything they’ve “accomplished” since then has meant nothing.
You’re going to want to Bookmark this article, Knowledge Seekers. These are the End of Year stats that we’ll be using to troll one another through the long and lonesome offseason. The key to effective trolling is accuracy, and this is all the ammo you’re going to need. I’ve even expanded them to include ALL of the players likely to come up during our tedious, pointless debates. Good luck!
Now, for the last time *sniffle* let’s look at some STATS!!!!!!!!!
Passers (Ranked by Passer Rating)
R Wilson 329/483 (68.1%) 4,024yds 8.3ypa 34td 8int 110.1prtg
C Palmer 342/537 (63.7%) 4,671yds 8.7ypa 35td 11int 104.6prtg
C Newton 296/495 (59.8%) 3,837yds 7.8ypa 35td 10int 99.4prtg
B Roethlisberger 319/469 (68.0%) 3,938yds 8.4ypa 21td 16int 94.5prtg
A Rodgers 347/572 (60.7%) 3,821yds 6.7ypa 31td 8int 92.7prtg
C Keenum 76/125 (60.8%) 828yds 6.6ypa 4td 1int 87.7prtg
B Gabbert 178/282 (63.1%) 2,031yds 7.2ypa 10td 7int 86.2prtg
C Kaepernick 144/244 (59.0%) 1,615yds 6.6ypa 6td 5int 78.5prtg
A Luck 162/293 (55.3%) 1,881yds 6.4ypa 15td 12int 74.9prtg
N Foles 190/337 (56.4%) 2,052yds 6.1ypa 7td 10int 69.0prtg
Rushers (Ranked by Yards)
T Gurley 229att 1,106yds 4.8ypa 10td 3fum
T Rawls 147att 830yds 5.6ypa 4td 1fum
C Johnson 196att 814yds 4.2ypa 3td 2fum
D Johnson 125att 581yds 4.6ypa 8td 2fum
R Wilson 103att 553yds 5.4ypa 1td 4fum
C Hyde 115att 470yds 4.1ypa 3td 1fum
T Austin 52att 434yds 8.3ypa 4td 0fum
M Lynch 111att 417yds 3.8ypa 3td 0fum
A Ellington 45att 289yds 6.4ypa 3td 1fum
S Draughn 76att 263yds 3.5ypa 1td 1fum
C Kaepernick 45att 256yds 5.7ypa 1td 4fum
C Michael 39att 192yds 4.9ypa 0td 0fum
Receivers (Ranked by Yards)
L Fitzgerald 109rec 145tar 1,2,15yds 11.1ypr 9td
D Baldwin 78rec 104tar 1,069yds 13.7ypr 14td
J Brown 65rec 101tar 1,003yds 15.4ypr 7td
M Floyd 52rec 89tar 849yds 16.3ypr 6td
A Boldin 69rec 110tar 789yds 11.5ypr 4td
J Kearse 49rec 68tar 685yds 14.0ypr 5td
K Britt 36rec 72tar 681yds 18.9ypr 3td
T Lockett 51rec 68tar 664yds 13.0ypr 6td
T Smith 33rec 61tar 663yds 20.1ypr 4td
J Graham 48rec 73tar 605yds 12.6ypr 2td
J Cook 39rec 73tar 481yds 12.3ypr 0td
T Austin 52rec 86tar 473yds 9.1ypr 5td
D Johnson 36rec 57tar 457yds 12.7ypr 4td
What’s changed?
The biggest thing that’s changed this week is the national perception that the Fraudulent Arizona Cardinals are somehow Super Bowl Contenders. They very idea makes me sensible chuckle, and it’s been put to rest. Going into the final game of the season the #1 Seed was still very much a possibility, but they were simply no match for Russell Carrington Wilson and the Best Defense of all time. Bruce Arians and Carson Palmer were exposed, just like they are every year at about this time.
Disgruntled Knowledge Haters might point to the midseason matchup between the two, a game in which the Fraudulent Cardinals (who were perfectly healthy) allowed a 19 point comeback and barely squeaked out a win. They probably thought they had proven something that day. They actually proved that, when the Seahawks are in absolute disarray and the Cardinals play the best game of their lives, they can barely win. But only if the refs help them. A lot. That wasn’t the case in Week 17, and it won’t be the case in any Playoff Rematches – if the Cardinals even make it that far.
My Analysis:
Their Week 17 Reality Check notwithstanding, the Cardinal have a lot to be happy about. They almost accomplished a lot of great things this year. They almost became the first team to outscore their opponents by 200+ points since the 2007 Patriots. And they almost became the first team to lead the League in offensive yardage and offensive points scored since I’m-not-sure-when. Either way, that all went out the window when they faced a clearly superior team in the final week of the season. Bruce Arians and Cardinal Fans will pretend like they didn’t want to achieve meaningful things this year anyway, but we all know better.
Meanwhile the Seahawks looks like their usual Super Bowl Contending selves, and at just the right time. With the #1 Passer in the league, the #1 Defense in the league (for an astonishing 4th consecutive year) and the return of one of the best Postseason Rushers of all time, the Boys in Blue seem primed to go on a tear and get back to the Big Game, where they belong. They’ve won their last three road games by at least 29 points (the first team to do so since the 1984 49ers) so they’re definitely ready to take this show on the road.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the dozen-or-so 49er fans who stuck around through the entire Jim Tomsula Era. It couldn’t have been easy watching your division rivals enjoy meaningful football while your once-proud organization fielded a bunch of window licking losers and a head coach who thinks he can fart during a press conference without anybody noticing. Your long nightmare is finally at an end, and your new nightmare doesn’t begin for another eight months.
I intended on writing at least one paragraph for every NFCW team. I think I’ve accomplished that. It feels like I might be leaving somebody out… but I’m pretty sure I got everyone. Man, I’m good at this.
And now, how about your feedback? This is the last BKOB Report of the Season. Do you know what that means?! I’m FREE!!! FREEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! SUCK IT KEAL!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil………..
Cinco Taças
whatever your stance is, i’ll take the opposite stance. -knut