MindFukAssassin’s Last Dance

1000 736 chriskeal

Thank you BKOB and other krunks over the previous decade. I had a blast! Last year I went into the hospital for Covid. I had to be put on a vent for three weeks, put into a medical coma, resuscitated a couple of times and was pretty close to death for those entire three weeks. My dark secret is I wanted to die. I was going through a divorce and suffering from severe depression. I just felt like my world was over and there was nothing to live for. I was almost happy that a virus was going to do what I was too chicken shit to do myself. I was accepting that death was coming and didn’t care to fight it.

It wasn’t until while in my medical coma they had my family come to tell me bye as they thought I wouldn’t make it through the night that I decided I wanted to live. I am an only child and was raised by a single mother. I saw my wife come to my bedside. I heard her telling me how much she loved me and that I was such a fighter and to keep fighting. That was a moment that turned everything around. It gave me a will and want to live. I had a turnaround that night and lived and slowly started recovering. It has been a long and hard road to recovery and I am still not there yet. Had I not had that moment of hearing here I am pretty sure I would have died.

I have told my mom about how much hearing her meant to me, but I have told no one about how I was ready and wanting to die at that time. If the hospital hadn’t lifted their Covid protocols to allow my wife into the room to say goodbye I think I would have just accepted death.

AUTHOR

chriskeal

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