The Real BKOB Report – 2018 – Week 12 Edition

    835 425 BKOB


    Welcome back, Knowledge Seekers! I’m glad to see you’ve all survived your annual gravy overdoses. Personally, I had enough leftovers to take down Eddie Lacy! Hohoho, I’m just kidding Eddie. Stay away from my leftovers.

    Another sensational week of NFCW Football is in the books, and the Seahawks are the only team to stand victorious. Ah, it’s just like the old days. Wasn’t Seattle supposed to be bad this year?

    In addition to leading three 4th Quarter Comebacks in one game, Russell Carrington Wilson dispelled the popular  “Russell vs 25 Points” myth – a preposterous falsehood that is based on the laughable claim that Wilson somehow “can’t” do something. This malicious lie has been repeated by jealous, cherry-picking Knowledge Haters for years.

    The only way to permanently extinguish this kind of ignorance is via Chart. So here you go. Every game where Russell’s opponent scored 25 points or more:

    As you can see, Wilson is phenomenally brilliant no matter how many points the other team scores. In those 30 games, he’s put up a 97.2 Passer Rating. That’s higher than Peyton Manning’s Career Passer Rating (96.5) in case you were wondering. Plus 62% completion 2.4:1 TD:INT ratio. And none of this mentions his amazing Rushing abilities. Can we really criticize that kind of performance? I say NO!

    Sure, Wilson has a few stinkers in there. But overall I’d say very few losses can be placed directly at his heroic feet. Especially since he has very few losses to begin with.

    Besides, the Seahawks Offense actually averages more 25 points in these games. (25.4 to be exact) so the idea of “25 points” representing some sort of insurmountable hurdle for Wilson is not only ludicrous, it’s offensive! It’s just an invisible line the Knowledge Haters drew in their minds because they’ve run out of ways to criticize the Seahawks’ QB. The time for hating is over. Let it go, MayNERD.

    Knowledge Haters, you may submit your apologies to RW by clicking “Recommend.” For the rest of you, here’s some… STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    J Goff – 258/381 (67.7%) 3,547yds, 9.3 ypa, 26 td, 6 int, 113.5 rtg
    R Wilson – 206/309 (66.7%) 2,531 yds, 8.2 ypa, 25 td, 5 int, 112.0 rtg
    N Mullens – 61/93 (65.6%) 733yds, 7.9 ypa, 5td, 4int, 89.6 rtg
    J Rosen – 137/247 (55.5%) 1,521 yds, 6.2 ypa, 10 td, 11 int, 68.9 rtg
    J Garoppolo – 53/89 (59.6%) 718 yds, 8.1 ypa, 5 td, 3 int, 90.0 rtg
    C Beathard – 102/169 (60.4%) 1,252 yds, 7.4 ypa, 8 td, 7 int, 81.8 rtg

    NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
    T Gurley – 210 att, 1,043 yds, 5.0 ypc, 13 td, 0 fum
    M Breida – 127 att, 738 yds, 5.8 ypa, 3 td, 1 fum
    D Johnson – 185 att, 692 yds, 3.7 ypa, 6 td, 2 fum
    C Carson – 144 att, 635 yds, 4.4 ypa, 4 td, 3 fum

    What’s Changed?
    The So-Called Rams once again failed to clinch the Division this week. It’s like they’re afraid of success. This timid sort of self-destructive psychology will surely be their undoing, if they ever reach the playoffs. Beware, Los Angeles! Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear!

    My Analysis
    This week the Rams travel to Detroit. That should be a real snoozer. As an unbiased journalist, I’ll be watching the Seahawks square off against the 49ers. So much hangs in the balance, including the Seahawks’ 9-game win streak over their former rivals.

    10 in a row is the kind of shame that will outlive 4905’s houseplant. The Seahawks Offense has the fewest Turnovers in the League, and the 49ers have the fewest Takeaways. Seattle is the #1 Rushing Team in the League, and they’re are at home… This one’s a toss-up.

    The Cardinals face off against the Packers this week, but MFA vs Packer Fans will be much more fun to watch. That’s the kind of entertainment you only get right here at

    And now, how about your feedback? Remember, Knowledge Seekers, to always click “Recommend” and – – – wait a minute… What day is it today?

    *checks Knowledge Calendar*

    I don’t believe it! Don’t you realize?? Today is the last Tuesday before Russell Carrington Wilson’s 30th Birthday!! Huzzah! What a statistically-relevant occasion! The end of his Glorious 20’s! The beginning of his Legendary 30’s!! The amazing plays!! The thrilling victories!! The Golden Boners!! And so much more to come!

    I feel like celebrating, BKOB Report style.

    Here’s a Chart showing Russell Wilson’s production during his first 30 years on this planet, compared to the first 30 years of every other noteworthy Quarterback since Joe Montana. Enjoy!!

    As you can see, the Chart-Busting Brilliance of Russell Carrington Wilson transcends all earthly bounds and makes him one of the most successful NFL Quarterbacks to ever turn 30. He and 30-year-old Brett Favre are the only QBs to rank in the Top 5 of all the categories listed, and Favre is just lucky that I didn’t include INTs. You owe me one, Brett! Hohoho

    (seriously though, 30-year-old Favre had exactly twice as many INTs as Wilson – 122 to 61) Awards.

    And none of this mentions his amazing Rushing abilities. Or the fact that he has the hottest wife in the NFL, according to the ads on SKA. Nuff said.

    Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………..



    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

    All stories by: BKOB

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