I’m refraining from calling this a “prediction” piece this season. Predictions indicate one firmly believes something will happen and isn’t afraid to stand behind that judgment. In the NFL, nothing is certain except Roger Goodell’s poor judgment. That said, I’ll offer some form of prognostication, even if it’s lighthearted and not entirely backed up by evidence, but I really have no interest in how “correct” I’ll be.
As usual, these picks are for fun and should in no way be used for actual wagering purposes. That is, unless you want to make a ton of money in a legal forum, because we know more stuff and things about football than you do or something.
On to the games!
New York Jets (5-8) @ Baltimore Ravens (11-2)
Thursday, December 12, 8:20 pm, Fox
The Jets are a confusing bunch. They’ve beaten five teams, none of which currently has a winning record and two of which are among the NFL’s worst to this point. They sport a good defense, but have been subject to giving up huge gains at the worst possible times. They have young, cheap talent. In short, they’re consistently inconsistent – perhaps the worst term a team can be saddled with in the current NFL. Former all-pro RB Le’Veon Bell appears more concerned with his bowling scores than his team’s performance, so it’s tough to see him getting motivated to play at all, let alone Thursday night. Really, the only hope this team has for a win is for the defense to contain Ravens’ QB Lamar Jackson and his stable of running backs, which assumes Jackson and company will have difficulty passing, as they did last week due to high winds in Buffalo. Even missing a few targets, Jackson will run, pass and juke his way past the Jets, who should already be looking to next year to fix the substantial holes in their roster.
Jets 17, Ravens 30
New England Patriots (10-3) @ Cincinnati Bengals (1-12)
Sunday, December 15, 1:00 pm, CBS
The question most often asked since the uncovering of “Spygate II” is “Why would the 10-3 Patriots have any need to cheat against the 1-12 Bengals?” It’s a fair question. Much as I’d like to promote the narrative that the Bengals will rise up and exact a win from the deceitful Patriots, I really can’t – the talent discrepancy is that pronounced, even in a “down” year in Foxboro. The Patriots will do what they do – short, high-percentage passing to slot and motion receivers, backed up by the duo of RBs James White and Sony Michel, which, barring injury or a substantial letdown, should be enough to dominate the most incomplete roster in the NFL. Bengals QB Andy Dalton will most likely struggle against a good Patriots secondary, and RB Joe Mixon, who’s become the Bengals’ best offensive weapon, will be powerless to counteract it, either rushing or receiving. This one could get ugly.
Patriots 31, Bengals 12
Cleveland Browns (6-7) @ Arizona Cardinals (3-9-1)
Sunday, December 15, 4:05 pm, CBS
For the first time in some time, the Browns face a game with no agendas, subplots or distractions, unless you want to embrace the Odell Beckham Jr. departure rumors. Given the relative health of their roster, the Browns should come out firing against the defensively-challenged Cardinals, whose honeymoon with rookie QB Kyler Murray may be nearing an end until the team begins to produce wins. Expect the Browns and QB Baker Mayfield to attack – and succeed – at all levels. The Cardinals’ defense will see Browns RBs Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt often for balance purposes if nothing else. Defensively, the Browns will probably remain in a nickel formation most of the day, as Murray and the Cardinals offer a meager ground game and an inconsistent passing attack – hardly the way for venerable Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald (the team’s leading receiver, by the way) to go out.
Browns 35, Cardinals 20
Buffalo Bills (9-4) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (8-5)
Sunday, December 15, 8:20 pm, NBC
Although it wasn’t how they would’ve projected it, these teams are rough mirror images of each other, each relying on stout defense to win ball games. Granted, the Bills are banking on the continued evolution of second-year QB Josh Allen, whose so-so year hasn’t done much to inspire or disappoint. It’s doubtful we’ll see much of a ground game from Buffalo beyond Allen’s scrambles; neither team has been able to establish much of a rushing or passing presence all year. The Steelers will give rookie QB Devlin “Duck” Hodges his second consecutive start, following up on a week where he played ably within a very controlled offensive environment; the team will most likely use the same general game plan for Hodges this week, although the Bills’ defense is going to pose much more of a challenge than the Cardinals’ defense did. Given the excessive offensive challenges each team faces, this could be the season’s lowest scoring game – 3-0 isn’t out of the question.
Bills 13, Steelers 17
Eat, drink, watch. Enjoy!
Daniel Midoneck
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