Greetings, Knowledge Seekers
As you know, some counterfeit Knowledge has been making the rounds on SKA – and no, I’m not talking about QBR.
My readers are diligent enough to spot intellectual phonies and statistical charlatans from a mile away – their senses finely tuned like those of Shaolin monks. But just in case you are one of the hopeless dimwits who was so easily duped by “Knowledge Tables” from week 3 (a preposterously small sample size), which included league-wide rankings that came out while there were still Week 3 games left to be played, and were compiled by a perfidious ne’er-do-well whose team has been terrible for six years, and who couldn’t wait to share skewed, biased stats while they still existed, whether they were accurate or not, then please flagellate yourself before reviewing the forthcoming corrections.
Keep in mind, Knowledge Seekers, that in all my years of publishing Knowledge Tables (beginning on the ESPN boards, then in SKA comments before writing my first article in 2014) no one has ever caught me falsifying statistics – and the reason is simple: I won’t do it. Legitimately, the only “errors” that have ever been found in my stats have been typos, like typing “44th” when I meant “4th”, or other obvious oversights – and even these have been extremely rare. I would never abuse the trust of my readers by manipulating Knowledge. I swear on my Golden Boner. Also my tables are much better looking than Bader’s amateur-hour layout – why is there so much space between 3rd Down% and Sacks? Learn to word-wrap, you greenhorn.
Bader’s errors are glaring and numerous – 21 of them in 14 statistical categories, for a staggering failure rate of 150% – and some are more egregious than others. They typically fall into two categories: either premature league-wide rankings that changed after Monday Night Football (this may seem like a harmless rookie mistake, until you consider that literally every single ranking could change after MNF – highly irresponsible), or more flagrantly, manipulating ties to favor one team over the others – for example: The SF Offense is currently in a 3-way tie for the most turnovers in the league, but instead of saying “tied for 1st” Bader listed them as “3rd.” Outrageous. Likewise, the SEA Offense is in a 3-way tie for 20th in Sacks Allowed, but he listed them at their lowest possible ranking, 22nd. I know your tricks, Bader!!
These are just errors I found while reviewing the league-wide rankings. A deeper investigation would be needed to ensure that the stats themselves are accurate, which I have no reason to believe that they are. I mean, Bader’s 150% failure rate speaks for itself. Oh, also, the Rams are in first place.
All of these stats are subject to change drastically over the next two weeks while we await a DECENT sample size from which to draw our REASONABLE predictions and conclusions, since we don’t want to end up like Joe Philbin, but even so I’ve provided an updated version of Bader’s Fake Knowledge Tables with corrections to illustrate his lack of honor, and to reassure all SKA users that they still have one reliable source for all of their Knowledge needs, and that is The Real BKOB Report, which is returning to SKA after Week 5 of the 2019 NFL Regular Season. Thanks for reading, Knowledge Seekers.
Thanks for reading, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil……………………………………………
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