Greetings, Knowledge Seekers
Well folks, we’ve reached the midway point of the NFCW season. Which means it’s that time of the year again:
Some things will never change, my friends.
Yes, the 49ers are doing about as badly as they normally do – BUT without the traditional distraction of mid-season mock drafts, things have gotten especially ugly for the Faithful. At least they can start assembling mock front offices and mock coaching staffs. Hohohoho, oh I do so love to laugh.
The Niners were without Jimmy G’s security blanket (Robbie Gould) for about a month, and promptly imploded (3-5). No big surprise, there. BUT compare that to the amazing Seattle Seahawks, who lost their HOF Quartback for a month – and not only did they survive, they THRIVED!! (3-5) They are poised for a late-season playoff push the likes of which have not been seen by mortal men, beginning this week in Green Bay. Joe Rogan has instructed Aaron Rodgers to prepare for further humiliation and despair.
Speaking of despair, my loyal Knowledge Seekers have been waiting patiently since Week 5 to find out whether or not their teams are good at anything. Until this day, it was impossible to know with certainty. But I say to you, the time for ignorance has ended!! And the Age of Knowledge has begun!! Unleash the STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
R Wilson – 90/125 (72.0%) 1,196 yds, 9.6 ypa, 10 td, 1 int, 125.3 rtg
M Stafford – 219/321 (68.2%) 2,771 yds, 8.6ypa, 23 td, 6 int, 111.0 rtg
K Murray – 186/256 (72.7%) 2,276 yds, 8.9 ypa, 17 td, 7 int, 110.4 rtg
G Smith – 65/95 (68.4%) 702 yds, 7.4 ypa, 5 td, 1 int, 103.0 rtg
J Garoppolo – 139/213 (65.3%) 1,754 yds, 8.2 ypa, 8 td, 5 int, 93.5 rtg
T Lance – 25/48 (52.1%) 354 yds, 7.4 ypa, 3 td, 1 int, 88.4 rtg
I spoke with a group of NFCW GMs – who choose to remain anonymous – and they have informed me that Geno Smith has a higher passer rating than both Jimmy Garoppolo and Trey Lance. And Geno isn’t making $27.5M a year, nor did he cost his team multiple first round picks. Big, if true. And you heard it here first, Knowledge Seekers.
As this magnificent season of sensational NFCW football marches forth, the watchful gaze of the Knowledge Seekers falls squarely upon the NFC’s 7th playoff seed – the most compelling and stimulating seed of all! Under the titillating tutelage of Head Coach Pete Carroll the Seattle Seahawks have been the ultimate “second half” team – thrilling the masses with their astonishing feats of fluky success and sorcery. They’ll need to summon a fortuitous bonanza of thrilling victories in order to make all of our wildest dreams come to life!! As an unbiased sports journalist, I can’t help but brace my loins for yet another Golden Boner-inducing playoff run!!
Thanks for reading, Knowledge Seekers… I will see you here for BKOB Presents: NFCW Progress Report Week 15 Edition – ONLY on SpikedKoolAid.com