Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
Welcome to our first wintry edition of this holidays seasons very special Frednesday Christmas. We at Frednesday hope you and yours have been spending a lotta time stuck in traffic, bad holiday traffic, the kind no man has time for. Now, honk your Santa horn, lose your Frexmas Spirit at the windshield, and short-stop the jerk behind you because it’s Frednesday again!! This week we bring in Jack Frost with a Xmas carol, examine the curious case of the 12 foot Khandahar Giant, and check out iRavens new pad! Buckle your seatbelts and remember, tuberculosis is contagious, here we go!…
It doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I’ve brought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
Let’s see… i’m 95% certain the NFL played games this weekend…
The Cardinals beat the Redskins? The seahawks beat the Panthers 40-7? is that real? am i in the wrong week..? Hold on, did they play a game in Mexico? No, the Rams were on the road, they got they ass whippt by Brady… let’s knock the Xers out right quick:
SX 4Xers L6L
CHICAGO Like 5x as Many
It was a sleet bowl of epic proportions, Kap had every excuse in the world but still got benched. He’s gotta be retarded. No offense. But the dude has literally been hand carried through every basic fundamental aspect of hiking the ball and completing a pass, and he cannot.He’s gotta be retarded. He was JaMarcus Russel with work ethic and a koran, apparently. His era is over, he opted out of his contract, as if. He might as well have opted out of the NFL. This dude needs to take a hijab to the big cube in mecca and never jihad here again. This team could NOT be in worse condition. It’s like our economy since the mortgage bubble: There’s always a few billion in shitty loans waiting to be unloaded. But the Legion of Gloom is defunkt too, as if the gods of popcorn throwing were going to let them gloat.
Speaking of..
LAR-PERS 6
BRADY BUNCH 26
You guys got a mudhole stomped in your butt. I know our season is bad but you guys i honestly feel bad for. At least we WERE something. I’ll stop talking on the Rams when someone can explain to me how Jeff FIsher was purchased for 2 more years? Wtf is he doing on his off-time to earn this money? None of us can see the fruits of this labor he’s being overpaid for, while he twiddles that god-forsaken mustache on the sidelines. I don’t want to write about this team any more. It’s too sad… lol
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I hate going out in the storm
But if you really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
Seattle 40burger
Carolina CamNewton
Bob, stop the presses. We need to confirm some things here…i thought ET died not the entire Carolina defense… meanwhile
We have a live look-in to the scene happening now where SKAgents are arriving at iRavens new pad:
Here’s the scence earlier when he was fashioning drapes for his basement:
Jack Burton: Feel pretty good. I’m not, uh, I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of… feel kind of invincible.
Wang Chi: Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.
Jack Burton: Good, me too.
Wang Chi: Yeah!
[pause]
Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
BOTTOM FLOOR
The fire is slowly dying
And my dear we’re still goodbye-ing
As long as you love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
There’s no pictures, or evidence, this one is all hearsay. But there are eyewitnesses who lived to tell the tale of a 12 foot tall red-headed giant who came stabbing a pike at some regular Joe’s on a cave patrol.
It’s 2002, and U.S. forces are invading the caves of Afghanistan looking for a ghost they’d never find. *I’ll make a special note that an infantryman trains in every environment imaginable – but not for cave-fighting. Vietnam taught us nothing but don’t chase them into the darkness of their caves. We don’t train for it, and as far as i know, it’s our longstanding policy not to chase a fight into any cave in the general Army. We aren’t taught cave tactics, we aren’t given cave gear, nothing we have gives us a cave advantage. We can’t even bomb them. But there we were, snooping around the foothill openings, a patrol of maybe a platoon, 2 humvees, 1 .50cal, buncha guys on foot with peashooters, maybe 1 gun. So out from the dark mouth of this cave strides a 12 foot red-headed red-bearded Giant with a 12-foot long iron pike and a shield the size of a man. Before anybody but the point man can get a few defensive pops off, with unimaginable swiftness, the Giant strode forth and piked the point man on his looming rod shaved pointy. Holding the soldier, impaled, 10 feet or 15 feet high in the air, the Giant begins to turn for more shrimp to stack on his barbie-squew. [Legend has it they bite the mans’ heads off once they get them up there, then drink their blood.] But the soldiers snapped to just in time to call out, “AIM FOR THE FACE!” And the .50cal and all the rest laid waste to his head rather quickly, then there he laid. They say the man impaled was still alive when they called for ‘Copters, but when the first arrived he had passed so they took the Giant, and that was the last anybody saw or heard of him. The second arrived for them, shook them down for cameras, and since then it’s been a well documented rumor. Click around, see for yourself. The guys said he had 6 fingers and 6 toes, reeked like a dead skunk hung in the rain for a fortnight, had 2 rows of teeth, and moved way faster than any were prepared upon sight of him.
Oh, it doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I’ve brought some corn for popping
and the lights are turned way down low
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
OH… let it snow
All the way home I’ll be warm
All the way home I’ll be warm
Well boys and girls, that about polishes up this Frednesday. Tune in next week, when we take you down, take you down to China Town. Until then, ignore the haters, but if you get face cancer, rub some dirt on it and it’ll become a boil then the $5K your internet friends raised for your healthcare can be donated to actual sick people who wash their face. I’m telling you, pee on your face.
The fire is slowly dying
And my dear I’m still goodbye-ing
As long you love me so
Let it snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow
OIeSagginSeahawk
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