GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!
Another NFCW Season is in the books and it ended the way many of us had envisioned: With the Seattle Seahawks standing victorious and proud. Seattle is the only NFCW team to finish the season on a winning streak. They’re getting hot at just the right time, but unfortunately they don’t have any more games until next season. I’m sure they’ll pick up right where they left off.
This just proves my existing theory that the NFL’s tiebreaker system is rigged. RIGGED, I tell you! Seattle finished the season with an identical record to the so-called “Rams” (identical Head-to-Head, in Division, common games, and in Conference records as well) and they whooped LA in their own crib – yet none of that matters?? A terribly flawed system to say the least.
Until it is fixed I propose the Seahawks and Rams share custody of the NFCW Title, switching back and fourth each weekend throughout the playoffs. A simple but elegant solution to this blatant miscarriage of justice. I’m sure Roger Goodell is reviewing my written proposal as we speak, but the Rams will probably lose before the change officially goes into effect.
The so-called “Rams” were outclassed by Seattle for four quarters, and it all boiled down to coaching. At this stage in the season, it was truly scheme-vs-scheme, with Rookie Genius HC Mike MacDominant emerging as the clear victor. With 10 wins, he’s off to the most legendary start of any coach in Franchise history. We also got a glimpse of what we can expect from the post-Stafford Rams, and I don’t think anyone was impressed.
Seattle won their 6th consecutive road game (amazing!), with an overall road record of 7-1 (wow!). If they can replicate that formula at home next year, I predict that they won’t lose very often at all. More importantly, by going “all-in” on a game that many thought “didn’t matter”, they’ve proven that the entire organization is truly bought-in. From the ownership willing to pay out hard-earned incentives, to Geno having his best game of the year, to the Defense making a red-zone stop on the road to clinch the victory, it is clear that this team will ALWAYS fight and they’ll ALWAYS do their best to win. WIN! WINNN!!!!!! *dramatically pounds table with fist*
There’s nothing more important than establishing a winning culture. Otherwise you could end up like Kyle Shanahan, whose team is enjoying their 4th season of 6 wins or fewer under his incompetent “leadership”. He was truly born to lose. This type of season is typical for the 49ers, who haven’t won anything in 30 years, but some fanbases expect more from their organization.
I’ll continue my Golden Boner Award Winning Anal
ysis after these special end-of-year extended STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
B Purdy – 300/455 (65.9%) 3,864 yds, 8.5 ypa, 20 td, 12 int, 96.1 rtg
M Stafford – 340/517 (65.8%) 3,762 yds, 7.3 ypa, 20 td, 8 int, 93.7 rtg
K Murray – 372/541 (68.6%) 3,851 yds, 7.1 ypa, 21 td, 11 int, 93.5 rtg
G Smith – 407/578 (70.4%), 4,320 yds, 7.5 ypa, 21 td, 15 int, 93.2 rtg
NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
K Williams – 316 att, 1,299 yds, 4.1 ypa, 14 td, 5 fum
J Conner – 236 att, 1,094 yds, 4.6 ypa, 8 td, 2 fum
J Mason – 153 att, 789 yds, 5.2 ypa, 3 td, 3 fum
K Walker – 153 att, 573 yds, 3.7 ypa, 7 td, 1 fum
K Murray – 78 att, 572 yds, 7.3 ypa, 5 td, 5 fum
Z Charbonnet – 135 att, 569 yds, 4.2 ypa, 8 td 0 fum
I Guerendo – 84 att, 420 yds, 5.0 ypa, 4 td, 0 fum
B Corum – 58 att, 207 yds, 3.6 ypa, 0 td, 0 fum
NFCW Receivers (Ranked by Receiving Yards)
T McBride – 111 rec, 147 tgt, 1,146 yds, 10.3 ypr, 2 td, 0 fum
J Smith-Njigba – 100 rec, 137 tgt, 1,130 yds, 11.3 ypr, 6 td, 1 fum
G Kittle – 78 rec, 94 tgt, 1,106 yds, 14.2 ypr, 8 td, 0 fum
D Metcalf – 66 rec, 108 tgt, 992 yds, 15.0 ypr, 5 td, 2 fum
P Nacua – 79 rec, 106 tgt, 990 yds, 12.5 ypr, 3 td, 0 fum
J Jennings – 77 rec, 113 tgt, 975 yds, 12.7 ypr, 6 td, 1 fum
M Harrison Jr – 62 rec, 116 tgt, 885 yds, 14.3 ypr, 8 td, 1 fum
C Kupp – 67 rec, 100 tgt, 710 yds, 10.6 ypr, 6 td, 1 fum
D Samuel – 51 rec, 81 tgt, 670 yds, 13.1 ypr, 3 td, 0 fum
T Lockett – 49 rec, 74 tgt, 600 yds, 12.2 ypr, 2 td, 0 fum
T Atwell – 42 rec, 62 tgt, 562 yds, 13.4 ypr, 0 td, 0 fum
M Wilson – 47 rec, 71 tgt, 548 yds, 11.7 ypr, 4 td, 1 fum
NFCW Pass Rushers (Ranked by Sacks)
L Williams – 11.0 sacks, 16 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr, 1 td
N Bosa – 9.0 sacks, 8 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
B Fiske – 8.5 sacks, 10 tfl, 2 ff, 2 fr, 0 td
L Floyd – 8.5 sacks, 8 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
K Turner – 8.0 sacks, 10 tfl, 1 ff, 1 fr, 0 td
D Hall – 8.0 sacks, 6 tfl, 2 ff, 1 fr, 1 td
B Young – 7.5 sacks, 12 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
B Mafe – 6.0 sacks, 8 tfl, 1 ff. 0 fr, 0 td
Z Collins – 5.0 sacks, 7 tfl, 2 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
M Collins – 5.0 sacks, 5 tfl, 0 ff, 2 fr, 0 td
D Stills – 4.5 sacks, 4 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
L Collier – 3.5 sacks, 4 tfl, 0 ff, 1 fr, 0 td
NFCW Tacklers (Ranked by Total Tackles)
B Baker – 164 tackles, 95 solo, 10 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
K White – 137 tackles, 60 solo, 9 tfl, 0 ff, 1 fr, 0 td
C Roseboom – 135 tackles, 69 solo, 5 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
F Warner – 131 tackles, 76 solo, 5 tfl, 4 ff, 0 fr, 1 td
Q Lakes – 111 tackles, 73 solo, 1 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
J Love – 109 tackles, 79 solo, 3 tfl, 2 ff, 1 fr, 0 td
D Witherspoon – 98 tackles, 66 solo, 6 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
J Thompson – 98 tackles, 61 solo, 3 tfl, 0 ff, 2 fr, 0 td
E Jones – 94 tackles, 48 solo, 1 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
D Lenoir – 85 tackles, 53 solo, 2 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
K Curl – 79 tackles, 49 solo, 1 tfl, 2 ff, 1 fr, 1 td
D Campbell – 79 tackles, 44 solo, 3 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
NFCW DBs (Ranked by INTs)
K Kinchens – 4 int, 6 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 1 td
J McCollough – 4 int, 4 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
R Woolen – 3 int, 14 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
J Love – 3 int, 12 pd, 2 ff, 1 fr, 0 td
C Bryant – 3 int, 6 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 1 td
S Murphy-Bunting – 3 int, 5 pd, 2 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
G Williams – 2 int, 9 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
D Lenoir – 2 int, 9 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
R Green – 1 int, 13 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
D Williams – 1 int, 7 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
J Brown – 1 int, 6 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
K Clark – 1 int, 1 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr, 0 td
My Analysis:
So much Knowledge 🤤 Remember to bookmark this article, friends, as you will be referencing these stats and ranking throughout the coming months. Accurate Knowledge is essential for offseason taunting, bickering and the picking of nits. If you’re going to troll, do so responsibly!
The crappiness of Purdy has inspired another entry into my super-popular series of custom SKA movie posters. Ladies and Gentlekrunks, from the makers of SKA Wars comes…. Memoirs of a Game Manager
Starring
-Brock Purdy as Chiyo Sakamoto, the latest flash-in-the-pan who enjoyed some attention from Niner fans as their new “shiny object of the week”
-Adu as Mameha, the diligent tutor who does his best to build Brock up, even though Brock will never be cut out for the big time
-Jimmy G as Hatsumomo, the washed up game manager of yesteryear who has been cast aside in favor of a young rival who seems out of place
-Kyle Shanahan as Chairman Ken Iwamura, the powerful and wealthy man who thinks he sees something in Brock, but is probably drunk
-John Lynch as Nobu, Shanahan’s gruff business partner who only cares about results
-Tribe as a scared young Asian girl
Coming to a Comments section near you.
And since I haven’t mentioned the Arizona Cardinals in this end-of-year edition of the BKOB Report, I’ll just point out that they’ve accomplished nothing since Mike left in Free Agency. It’s like the football version of the Curse of the Bambino.
That does it for The Real BKOB Report this year *sniffle*. We’ve had a lot of fun copy/pasting stats, posting Excepts, and threatening Danny O’neil. Before we depart, I’d like to share an Excerpt of my own from Dusty Springfield’s beloved sitcom theme song:
As long as we got each other
We got the stats spinnin right in our chats.
Baby you and me, we gotta be
The lucky SKA Users who never quit trollin’.
As long as we keep Knowledge Seeking
we can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time
We got each other Sharin’ the laughter and love (sharin’ the laughter and love.)
And now, how about your feedback? I’ve given you more Excerpts to post than perhaps any other article in BKOB Report history. Use them wisely!!
Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………
