The Real BKOB Report: Week 12 Edition

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Good morning SKA users. It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to Arm Yourselves… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

Well, it’s morning somewhere, right? Isn’t that how it works? Hell, I dunno. Either way, Week 11 has come and gone leaving us with thrills, chills and bone-crunching spills! Among the match-ups from Sunday was a quarterback duel between Russell Wilson and 49er-legend Alex Smith. The Seahawks played well in a hostile environment, including a solid performance from the passing game that had been sorely lacking for several weeks. But it was Kansas City that capitalized in the 4th quarter and took home the victory, thanks to an outstanding performance from Jamaal Charles and some key stops on 4th Down.

I was a little disappointed in the outcome, but I was outright SHOCKED by the reaction from the 12th Man. I logged on to Monday morning and found my fellow Seahawk fans throwing in towels, sticking forks in one another, and engaging in all sorts of activities signifying that the season is lost.

What?! Why? How? Where? Who? Which? Just because we’re ONE GAME out of a playoff spot with SIX GAMES left to play? Just because we’ve lost four measly games? Because of injuries? Are we the only team in the NFL with injuries? I expect that sort of overreaction and hyperbole from the trolls and pitiful ignoramuses who embarrassingly live the lies told to them by the Adusoron Propaganda Ministry … but from my fellow Seahawk fans?! YOU CALL YOURSELVES HOMERS???

Do I need to copy/paste the season records for the past ten Superbowl Winners? Because the vast, vast majority of them lost MORE than four games. Perhaps the Seahawk fans were spoiled by a 2013 Season where the team was so historically dominant that the rest of the country predicted a Superbowl Championship a full year in advance – Preseason Champions who actually lived up to the hype and delivered a Title. Well that isn’t how it normally works out. You don’t need to be a 13-3 #1 seed to have a shot in the playoffs. You just need to get hot at the right time.

We’re still the #1 rushing team, a top-three defense, our passing game is showing signs of improvement, and our roster is packed with players who have Championship experience. If we can generate some more sacks and turnovers, we’ll have the same recipe we used to bring home the Lombardi one year ago. So buck up, Seahawk fans!

Sometimes I feel like, in an effort to identify with our less-fortunate brethren in the NFCW, we are TOO QUICK to cast aspersions onto our own team. We see them complaining about this and that, and we want to take part in the discussion as well. But I think we’ve gone too far. If the Seahawks can handle their business at home, beat Mark Sanchez in Philly, and sweep either Arizona or San Francisco, we can be looking at winning ten or eleven games this year. I’m a believer. Who’s with me???

And now, the reason we all get out of bed on Tuesday Morning… THE STATS!!!!!


Passers (Ranked by Passer Rating)
Colin Kaepernick – 194/318 (61.0%) 2,359yds 7.42ypa 14td 5int 92.0rtg
Russell Wilson – 182/291 (62.5%) 2,019yds 6.94ypa 13td 5int 90.8prtg
Shaun Hill – 28/42 (66.7%) 301yds 7.17ypa 1td 1int 85.5prtg
Drew Stanton – 67/125 (53.6%) 920yds 7.36ypa 5td 2int 84.1prtg

Rushers (Ranked by Yards per Attempt)
Russell Wilson – 74att 571yds 7.7ypa 4td 3fum
Colin Kaepernick – 66att 322yds 4.9ypa 0td 4fum
Marshawn Lynch – 177att 813yds 4.6ypa 9td 1fum
Tre Mason – 92att 383yds 4.2ypa 1td 1fum
Frank Gore – 158att 648yds 4.1ypa 2td 1fum
Andre Ellington – 186att 624yds 3.4ypa 3td 2fum

What’s changed?
The Quarterback Carousel continues to turn in the NFCW, and as the season grinds on we find Russell Wilson climbing the ranks. It seems inevitable that he will overtake Colin Kaepernick in the rankings. The 49ers are winning game in spite of their quarterback, and Trent Baalke must be shaking his head wondering why he bothered getting all of those big-name receivers into his fold.

My Analysis:
The Gauntlet is underway, as NFCW teams begin knocking one another around. This week is an all-important matchup betwixt the reigning and defending Superbowl Champion Seattle Seahawks and the First Place Arizona Cardinals. Personally, I am now afraid of Drew Stanton. He seems to enjoy throwing up easy picks, which is exactly what this team needs to feed their confidence. I look forward to getting some revenge on the Redbirds for beating us in the CLink late last year.

Meanwhile, the Rams’ draft stock took a serious hit when they accidentally beat the Denver Broncos. Apparently Peyton Manning forgot to tell them that it was just a practice game, and that they should take it easy. Hopefully this doesn’t interfere with Jeff Fisher’s eventual termination from the Head Coaching position, because I am sick of him and his mustache and his stupid trick plays on special teams.

And now, how about your feedback? Was this the best article you’ve ever read? Let us know about it in the comments section below.

Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil.



A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

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