Changing things up for 2017. No more pure prediction articles. Instead, I will talk about all the ways this division sucks and other things as well. Don’t judge me.
The worst 1-1 possible
Sadly, I’m not talking about the Seahawks. The Cardinals got obliterated in Detroit before almost losing to the Luckless Colts. Their lethargic performance through two games can be explained by a lot of things, but above all, Carson Palmer has reached an age where he cannot carry the team on his back anymore. He’s 37 and thrown twice as many picks as touchdowns against less than stellar defenses. That along with losing David Johnson has doomed the Cardinals this year. 5 wins seems generous at this point.
The 49ers defense looks a lot better, but their laughable offense dooms them
The 49ers offense has been the worst in the league, save for maybe the Bengals, but they have made great strides on defense this offseason. Their front 7 has done a great job against the run, a stark contrast from a year ago, while their secondary has held it’s own. All of this while having to remain on the field for most of the game due to their lethargic offense. It will be a long season if they don’t fix that, and it appears unlikely with Hoyer at quarterback, but at least they have something to hope for.
The Seahawks’ offense is a horror show
Their line is the worst part of it, but Wilson has been off target in a lot of his passes, while the receivers have dropped a lot of the ones on target. Not to mention that their run game has been non-existent. They needed a prayer to survive the 49ers at home and the schedule doesn’t get much easier from here. A losing season doesn’t seem far fetched anymore.
The Rams have looked like the best team through 2 weeks
The Redskins had a beat on them most of the day in week 2, but their offense has looked the most spry in the young 2017 season, with Goff looking like a competent quarterback this year. Of course, Cal Berkeley people always succeed in life, so it was only a matter of time for Goff. They have scored 66 points so far, while the 49ers, Seahawks, and Cardinals combined have scored 72. Of course, they are still 1-1 and still the Rams, but at least they can be positive for a little while longer.
Kaepernick still remains unsigned
Seems like if he learned how to stop being an activist and start trying to be a quarterback, he would have a job by now. Sadly his lackluster talent compounded with his own arrogance and baggage continue to doom his sorry ass.
Beaster is public enemy #1
Because he’s playing me in fantasy this week.
* SPOILER* Game of Thrones theory of the week
Are Jon Snow and Daenerys brother and sister? I fucking hope not.
Wife’s pregnancy update
30 weeks. She fat.
Picks:
49ers over Rams 20-13
Ravens over Jaguars 17-13
Broncos over Bills 33-14
Steelers over Bears 35-0
Lions over Falcons 20-17
Browns over Colts 17-7
Bucs over Vikings 16-14
Pats over Texans 34-6
Dolphins over Jets 20-13
Eagles over Giants 30-3
Panthers over Saints 28-13
Titans over Seahawks 27-10
Packers over Bengals 31-10
Chiefs over Chargers 27-14
Raiders over Redskins 31-20
Cowboys over Cardinals 27-6
Enjoy week 3 assholes!
