GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!
The NFCW picked up three more victories this past weekend, and I couldn’t be more proud to be covering the whole thing! This is the toughest, coolest, and best Division in all the land – with Russell Carrington Wilson and the First Place Seattle Seahawks leading the charge!! Onward, glorious NFCW, to VICTORY!!
*sings the NFCW national anthem*
The S0-Called Rams even scored a big win over their Wildcard rival Chicago Bears, increasing the likelihood that all four NFCW teams nab a playoff spot in this year’s extended postseason lineup! If that doesn’t give you a Golden Boner, then you must be a Golden Homo. Award.
And, as if that wasn’t exciting enough, it’s Seahawks/49ers week! So let’s see them STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NFCW Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
R Wilson – 156/219 (71.2%) 1,890 yds, 8.6 ypa, 22 td, 6 int, 119.5 rtg
J Goff – 151/223 (67.7%) 1,789 yds, 8.0 ypa, 12 td, 4 int, 102.4 rtg
J Garopplo – 83/124 (66.9%) 1,012 yds, 8.2 ypa, 7 td, 4 int, 97.2 rtg
K Murray – 169/253 (66.8%) 1,847 yds, 7.3 ypa, 13 td, 7 int, 93.8 rtg
NFCW Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
K Drake – 119 att, 512 yds, 4.3 ypa, 4 td, 0 fum
K Murray – 65 att, 437 yds, 6.7 ypa, 7 td, 1 fum
D Henderson Jr – 87 att, 412 yds, 4.7 ypa, 3 td, 0 fum
C Carson – 66 att, 323 yds, 4.9 ypa, 3 td, 1 fum
R Mostert – 51 att, 303 yds, 5.9 ypa, 1 td, 0 fum
M Brown – 65 att, 274 yds, 4.2 ypa, 3 td, 0 fum
J McKinnon – 44 att, 210 yds, 4.8 ypa, 3 td, 0 fum
First of all, I’d like to congratulate a long-time Knowledge Seeker by the name of Mike From Arizona for the most dominant week of trolling in his illustrious career. Bravo to you, sir! You successfully OWNT Seattle fans, and you did it by using authentic NFCW Stats and Knowledge. I couldn’t be more proud of your copy/paste skills! And then to follow it up with a dizzying array of Custom Memes?? SKA owes you a debt of gratitude.
Indeed, Russell Carrington Wilson’s unstoppable MVP campaign hit its first speed bump over the weekend. Two iffy throws and one miscue on a scramble drill were all it took to mar an otherwise stellar performance from Wilson, featuring 472 yards of total Offense that he accounted for and several marvelous throws to Tyler Lockett. He even added 3 more legendary Touchdowns to his already prodigious totals. Wilson still leads the league in TD passes and Passer Rating, while coming in 2nd in Yards Per Attempt, Yards Per Game, and 4th in Completion Percentage. What a hero!
Even Wilson’s Interceptions are the stuff of legend. This week he gave DK Metcalf a unique opportunity to redeem his boneheaded fumble from earlier this season. We saw DK chase down Budda Baker like it was a Planet Earth Documentary. The man is an absolute BEAST!!
The 49ers Receivers and Running Backs have taken to calling themselves the “YAC Bros”, to celebrate the dink-and-dunk nature of their offense. Operation “Cover-up Jimmy’s Impotence” has been a success so far: two weeks ago he won a game despite throwing only two passes beyond the line of scrimmage, and this week he picked up another victory while throwing 0 TDs and 2 INTs. A statistical oddity, to be sure, but we’ll see if it’s enough to match up against the awesome fire power of the Seahawks Offense!
And now, how about your feedback? Before we depart, Knowledge Seekers, I’d like to take a minute to talk about something really important. Lights, please?
*steps into the spotlight*
Every Tuesday is special here on SpikedKoolAid.com, but next Tuesday is undeniably the most important Tuesday of the past four years, and we need to do our part for the good of this Nation. I’m speaking, of course, about the NFL trade deadline. So please, if you have any spare HOFers lying around, I urge you to contact John Schneider and the Seattle Seahawks to give them a good, loving home. Especially if they’re pass rushers. Let’s make the Seahawks Defense Great Again!
Thank you, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil…………………