Did anybody see ESPN’s Power Rankings? Good, neither did I. Who needs them when we have me.
Let’s do this!
1. Denver Broncos
The Super Bowl Champs still haven’t lost and have made me look stupid for knocking them so low in the offseason. Right back to the top they are (In Yoda voice).
2. Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings have allowed 50 points this season, including just 24 to Carolina and Green Bay. Defense wins championships and the Vikings could get their first one this year.
3. New England Patriots
The Pats finally lose a game just in time for Brady to come back. Figures.
4. Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles have suprised everybody by jumping out to a 3-0 start. I still have my doubts that they will keep this up, but they earned this spot this week.
5. Green Bay Packers
The Packers offense still does not appear to have it all together, a problem that plagued them all of last season. Hopefully their early bye week gives them some much needed tuning.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers have the most explosive offense in the league when everything is clicking, but they are also prone to inconsistency like in week 3.
7. Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks opened the season with two duds, but rebounded with two impressive wins in weeks 3 and 4. They have lost to the only team they played with a winning record, so temper expectations for this group.
8. Atlanta Falcons
Embarrassing the Panthers in colossal fashion puts these guys easily in the top 10. Their defense still has gaping holes, but there are very few defenses in the league that will be able to stop this offense.
9. Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals have gotten off to an inconsistent start through four games, but I’ve given on this team many times in the past and they still manage to have at least 10 wins by the end of the year. Unless something extreme happens, they are staying in the top 10.
10. Oakland Raiders
The Raiders have won 3 games on the road to start the year, all of them by a touchdown or less. Their schedule gets tougher in the future, so they need to step it up if they are going to stick with Denver at the top.
11. Houston Texans
The Texans are 3-1, but that one loss was as ugly as ugly gets. Without JJ Watt for the rest of the season, the Texans season is in jeopardy. Fortunately, they play in the AFC South.
12. Dallas Cowboys
Tony Romo might find himself out of a job this season. With the way Dak Prescott has been playing, it appears that they can do a lot of damage without him.
13. Los Angeles Rams
The Rams are 3-1 for the first time in 10 years and are 2-1 against the division. Given the Rams’ appalling record the last 12 years, it is difficult to trust them. I’ll take a wait and see approach.
14. Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens finally lost a game last week, and none of their three wins were impressive either. Like the Raiders above, their schedule only gets tougher and I don’t see this group doing much in the long run.
15. Buffalo Bills
The Bills have gotten two impressive wins over the Cardinals and Patriots the last two weeks. Their defense is finally getting it together and this teams seems like the lone team that might be able to give the Patriots trouble in the NFC East.
16. Carolina Panthers
Carolina has had a brutal schedule to start the season, but it is quite a letdown that they have only been able to win one out of four games. The Panthers never seem to have 2 winning seasons in a row, and are heading for another stinker this year.
17. Washington Redskins
The Redskins have pulled even after their disastrous 0-2 start, but their defense is still a shit show. Hopefully they can score, because they will need to in order to win games.
18. Kansas City Chiefs
It’s been a rough ride for KC so far, as they are a Chargers choke job away from being 1-3 and have holes on both sides of the ball. Not going to be a fun season if they don’t snap out of it.
19. Arizona Cardinals
Their one impressive win seems like a mirage as it’s been a trainwreck otherwise. It is time to snap out of it, and the reeling 49ers present that opportunity tomorrow. With Palmer out, even that may be tough.
20. New York Giants
The Giants are the only team to beat the Cowboys so far this year. That’s the good news. The bad news is Odell Beckham Jr. and the terrible Giants offense so far. Hopefully he can get his temper tantrums under control and the Giants can start moving the ball.
21. San Diego Chargers
The Chargers have had 4 leads inside the two minute warning and have lost three of them. Their defense needs to step it up in these situations, because this team can do some damage on offense.
22. New York Jets
It is snowballing hard for Ryan Fitzpatrick right now. The journeyman quarterback has thrown 9 picks in his last 2 games and the Jets now sit at 1-3 with a trip to Pittsburgh looming.
23. Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jaguars finally got a win and needed to go outside the country to get it. Nonetheless, it has been an excruciating season for fans of this team who thought that they finally had a solid team to put on the field. In other news, Jaguars fans have been discovered in northern California.
24. Detroit Lions
The Lions are a bad team. Their win over the Colts in week 1 reflects more on the Colts than the Lions. and this team will have troubles on defense all season.
25. Miami Dolphins
Their only win was an overtime home win over the sorry Browns. Not good enough. With the Titans coming up, there is still hope for this team.
26. Indianapolis Colts
This team could be winless if it weren’t for another Chargers choke job. This team is incredibly flawed and looking for Andrew Luck to do it all again. Other teams have figured this out, and they aren’t having success with this plan anymore. Sounds like a house cleaning is in store.
27. Chicago Bears
The Bears won, thanks to Matthew Stafford. Cutler is running out of time as Hoyer has outplayed him so far. He could find himself on the bench due to no fault of his own.
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
They have one impressive win over the Falcons in week 1 and have been an absolute disaster ever since. It’s disappointing for those expecting more from Jameis in year 2.
29. New Orleans Saints
The Saints finally have a win, thanks to yet ANOTHER Chargers choke job. Their defense is as bad as ever, but hey, they just need to play a team with a worse defense and they’ll win. Recipe for success!
30. San Francisco 49ers
It hurts. The 49ers lost Navorro Bowman and any chance of their defense being decent went with him. With Blaine Gabbert leading the offense, this team is hopeless.
31. Tennessee Titans
The Titans have won 6 of their last 36 games. Let that sink in for a bit. A 1-3 has them sitting right above the Browns for the bottom. On the bright side, they’ve won three straight trips to NFC Stadiums.
32. Cleveland Browns
Schedule hard? Nope. Games won? Nope. Bottom feeders yet again? Absolutely.
Make the Niners Great Again
The South will rise again