We’ve reached the end of Excerpt Season, Knowledge Seekers – which is always a bittersweet time of year. Coming soon: “Pictures of Trees vol 1”. So don’t break this article too quickly
Week 16
Twas the Tuesday before Christmas
and all through Disqus
not a Niner fan stirred
because their team really sucks
Their heads were all hung
in the deep grip of shame
Their crappy QB
just blew another game
Their Head Coach was nestled
on the floor with two beers
His 4th losing season
in the past 8 years
The faithful lamented
“What the heck went so wrong?
Our Super Bowl drought
is now three decades long”
When out on the blog
there arose such a clatter.
The few fans remaining
shared doom-laden chatter.
“Now Shanny, now Deebo,
now Warner, now Kittle,
With all of this talent
We’ve accomplished so little”
They muttered and grumbled,
their season fell flat.
Happy Tuesday to all.
Now let’s read some STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Week 17
It appears the Division Title could be illegally STOLEN from the Seahawks by a rigged “tiebreaker” system that should be banned in all 50 states and US territories. Who’s with me?? If the NFL would adopt my Knowledge Tables as the official tiebreaker system, they would see that the so-called “Rams” finished dead last in the NFCW in SIX out of fourteen official BKOB Report categories (including Total Offense, Scoring Offense, and Total Defense) while the Seahawks finished last in only FOUR BKOB Report Categories. How do you explain THAT?? Seems awfully suspicious. Such a discrepancy should be investigated thoroughly. I’ve submitted a petition with the League, and I’m currently awaiting their response.
Week 18
The crappiness of Purdy has inspired another entry into my super-popular series of custom SKA movie posters. Ladies and Gentlekrunks, from the makers of SKA Wars comes…. Memoirs of a Game Manager
Starring
-Brock Purdy as Chiyo Sakamoto, the latest flash-in-the-pan who enjoyed some attention from Niner fans as their new “shiny object of the week”
-Adu as Mameha, the diligent tutor who does his best to build Brock up, even though Brock will never be cut out for the big time
-Jimmy G as Hatsumomo, the washed up game manager of yesteryear who has been cast aside in favor of a young rival who seems out of place
-Kyle Shanahan as Chairman Ken Iwamura, the powerful and wealthy man who thinks he sees something in Brock, but is probably drunk
-John Lynch as Nobu, Shanahan’s gruff business partner who only cares about results
-Tribe as a scared young Asian girl
Coming to a Comments section near you.
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