Charlie The Unicorns Week #1 Picks

    1024 689 Charlie the Unicorn

    Welcome back to the Charlie The Unicorns Weekly Feature. As we all know… NFL Week 1 is FINALLY here. For the record, in 2014 the regular season I went 168-90 overall (straight-up)…..

    This is always the wackiest week to try to make picks for you trolls, but there are some games that should be close. I’m not sure how the NFCW drew the short end of the stick, but they are facing some mighty tough opening games. May the best teams win, right Loyal!

    The number of stars rank the best games, in my opinion, to sink your precious time into watching.

    Thursday Football (Sept 10)

    Steelers at Patriots 8:30 PM NBC (****)
    Point Spread : -6.5 Patriots
    O/U : 52.0

    The Steelers are missing two of their strongest weapons in this game, could turn into the WR Brown show. Tommy Boy Brady is back. The Patriots defense is the story of this game, for better or worse. Can they survive losing both Revis and Browner?

    Prediction: 27 – 24 Patriots

    Sunday Football (Sept 13) EASTERN TIME Broadcast

    Packers at Bears 1:00 PM FOX
    Point Spread : -4 Packers
    O/U : 50.0

    The Packers are without one of the best WR in the game. The Bears are the stain on the midway and rebuilding. Unless there is another significant injury to the Packers, I can’t honestly see how they lose this game with Aaron Rodgers playing.

    Prediction: 34 – 17 Packers

    Chiefs at Texans 1:00 PM CBS (*)

    Point Spread : -1.5 Texans
    O/U: 41.0

    This should feature two of the top defenses in 2015. I can’t see how this is going to be a high scoring game. A key defensive play (turnover) created by Justin Houston will lead to the winning score. I also like Maclin to get a TD, breaking the WR TD drought for the Chiefs at 16 regular season games in a row, last I checked.

    Prediction: 16 – 13 Chiefs

    Browns at Jets 1:00 PM CBS

    Point Spread : -3.0 Jets
    O/U: 39.5

    The Browns OC just got suspended. The QB position is in shambles. They traded away one of my favorite RBs from the 2014 draft (West)….. and the Jets look like they have a legit defense this year. The Jets defense, at home, will lead the way to victory.

    Prediction: 21 – 13 Jets

    Colts at Bills 1:00 PM CBS (*)

    Point Spread : -3.0 Colts
    O/U: 46.5

    The Bills QB Tyrod Taylor is the truth. He is a great story. The Bills defense should be amped up to play and we know Sexy Rexy always has a solid defense… but can the offense score enough points to keep up with the Colts prolific offense?

    Prediction: 30 – 27 Bills

    Dolphins at Redskins 1:00 PM CBS

    Point Spread : -3.5 Dolphins
    0/U: 43.5

    The Dolphins defense has been getting a ton of ink this off-season. This is the game they need to show they are for real. The Redskins are terrible. I’m going with the fish, but they better not leave me high and dry in DC. Beware of the garbage field as well.

    Prediction: 24 – 16 Fish

    Panthers at Jaguars 1:00 PM FOX

    Point Spread : -3.5 Panthers
    0/U: 41.0

    This is simple. I’m going with the more complete team. The Jaguars are close, but they are still a sub 500 team this season. The Panthers have just enough on offense and a superior defense to carry the day.

    Prediction: 20 – 14 Panthers

    Seahawks at Rams 1:00 PM FOX (**)

    Point Spread : -3.5 Seahawks
    O/U: 41.0

    This game will come down to one thing, special teams. What have the Seahawks invested draft picks and time into this off-season? Special Teams. The knock-out blow is Tyler “No-E” Lockett returning one for a TD. Loyal is going to be mad!

    Prediction: 24 – 17 Seahawks

    Saints at Cardinals 4:05 PM Fox

    Point Spread : -2.5 Cardinals
    O/U: 47.5

    Ordinarily I would be all over the Cardinals winning this game “big”. They are at home and should have a rowdy crowd. I’m just not sold on the new DC for the Cardinals. The Saints have lost a ton of talent (due to cap mismanagement) and do not travel well….. I guess I am on the “Birdgang” bandwagon week #1.

    Prediction: 27 – 20 Cardinals

    Lions at Chargers 4:05 PM FOX

    Point Spread : -3.0 Chargers
    O/U: 45.5

    The Chargers defense is improved this year. The offense is serviceable and might even be explosive as necessary. The Lions lost the vaunted DL in FA, but have some serviceable pieces in place. I’m looking for a nice rushing day for the Chargers….. in the heat of San Diego sun. Lions love to sleep during the day… and it is a day game.

    Prediction: 26 – 21 Bolts

    Titans at Buccaneers 4:25 PM CBS

    Point Spread : -3.0 Bucs
    O/U: 41.5

    The Bucs really jacked me last season in predictions… they messed me up more than any other team, to the tune of 4-12 predicting their games in 2014 (or something like this). They have to prove it to me this season. I’m just going to go ahead and bite the bullet and go with the next young “superstar” QB Mariota. Take that Bucs, you bastids!

    Prediction: 30 – 24 Titans

    Bengals at Raiders 4:25 PM CBS

    Point Spread : -3.5 Bengals
    O/U: 43.5

    I really like the Raiders defense. They could be top 15 and possibly top 10 this season. The offense has shown flashes and the rookie Wr Cooper looks like a preseason favorite for the OROY. Here is what it comes down to, do you trust a Ginger?

    Prediction: 37 – 31 Raiders

    Ravens at Broncos 4:25 PM FOX (*****)

    Point Spread : -4.5 Broncos
    O/U: 49.5

    I see the Broncos defense as a top 5 unit. They will get a ton of pressure and sacks during this season. The back end is a bit shaky, but they should be adequate. The Ravens, on the road, at mile high…. I think they run out of gas by the fourth quarter and the Broncos squeak one out with a late TD.

    Prediction: 27 – 19 Broncos

    Sunday Night Football

    Giants at Cowboys 8:30 PM NBC

    Point Spread : -5.5 Cowboys
    O/U: 51.5

    My gut says go with the Giants on this one. I do not see why this should be the case, they are missing V. Cruz for the game on top of several other injuries in their secondary. I do like the Giants however, OBJ is the key to this game….. this is a tough one for me.

    Prediction: 34 – 27 Cowboys

    Monday Night Football (Sept 14)

    (1) Eagles at Falcons 7:10 PM ESPN (***)

    Point Spread : -2.5 Eagles
    O/U: 55.5

    These are two “exciting” teams. Both have made some changes to personnel and coaching staffs. I expect it to be an open game and a shoot-out. I’m going to go ahead and ride the Bradford bandwagon week #1… he will make good decisions and spread the rock around. I also expect the Falcons defense to not quit be on the same page yet, enabling big play chances.

    Prediction: 30 – 27 Eagles

    (2) Vikings at 49ers 10:20PM ESPN (**)

    Point Spread : -2.5 Vikings
    O/U: 41.5

    The Vikings have been SEXY preseason pick to get a WC this season. I agree with this, but going on the road into a hostile environment game #1 is tough. Adrian Peterson should be a tough match-up for the revised SF defense. The SF offense is the big question mark, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Vernon Van Gogh grabs the game winning TD. If CK7 doesn’t deliver this game, I’m done with these clowns this season. Oh yeah, 1994 called, they want their all black uniforms back as well.

    Prediction: 21 – 17 49ers

    I did predict a 3-1 NFCW record this week, we will see if this comes true. Remember SKAsians, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

    AUTHOR

    Charlie the Unicorn

    The unicorn is a legendary animal that has been described since antiquity as a beast with a large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead.

    All stories by: Charlie the Unicorn
    6,033 comments

    Comments are closed.