BKOB Presents – Super Bowl LX Preview

    931 523 BKOB

    Greetings, Knowledge Seekers

    The Seahawks picked a great time to go on a 10-game win streak (possibly 11) and order has been restored to the NFCW! Hail the conquering hero!!

    Matthew Stafford attempted a game winning drive in the final minutes, ala Russell Carrington HOFer Wilson in back-to-back NFCCGs. But he was thwarted (THWARTED, I SAY) by the mighty Devon Witherspoon – who used the teachings of Head Coach Mike MacDominant to bounce back from a handful of rough plays early on, because that’s what heroes do.

    Head Coach Mike MacDominant is now undefeated in the playoffs. His .706 regular season win percentage is #1 in the NFL (minimum 20 games), and the 5th highest of all-time. His latest victory has left national pundits Googling “Who is Mike MacDonald?” And now he’s going to the Super Bowl.

    But what awaits Head Coach Mike MacDominant and the NFC Champion Seahawks when they arrive at Levi’s Stadium – a facility in which they have never lost a game? I’ll tell you, Knowledge Seekers, through the magic of STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Super Bowl Quarterbacks (Ranked by Passer Rating)
    D Maye – 354/492 (72.0%), 4,394 yds, 8.9 ypa, 31 td, 8 int, 113.5 rating
    S Darnold – 323/477 (67.7%), 4,048 yds, 8.5 ypa, 25 td, 14 int, 99.1 rating

    Super Bowl Rushers (Ranked by Rushing Yards)
    K Walker III – 221 att, 1,027 yds, 4.6 ypa, 5 td, 0 fum
    T Henderson – 180 att, 911 yds, 5.1 ypa, 9 td, 1 fum
    Z Charbonnet – 184 att, 730 yds, 4.0 ypa, 12 td, 0 fum
    R Stevenson – 130 att, 603 yds, 4.6 ypa, 7 td, 2 fum

    Super Bowl Receivers (Ranked by Receiving Yards)
    J Smith-Njigba – 119 rec, 1,793 yds, 15.1 ypr, 10 td, 3 fum
    S Diggs – 85 rec, 1,013 yds, 11.9 ypr, 4 td, 0 fum
    H Henry – 60 rec, 768 yds, 12.8 ypr, 7 td, 0 fum
    C Kupp – 47 rec, 593 yds, 12.6 ypr, 2 td, 1 fum
    K Boutte – 33 rec, 551 yds, 6 td, 0 fum
    A Barner – 52 rec, 519 yds, 10.0 ypr, 6 td, 2 fum

    Super Bowl Pass Rushers (Ranked by Sacks)
    H Landry – 8.5 sacks, 10 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr
    K Chaisson – 7.5 sacks, 10 tfl, 2ff, 1 fr
    L Williams – 7.0 sacks, 9 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr
    U Nwosu – 7.0 sacks, 7 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr
    B Murphy III – 7.0 sacks, 7 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr
    E Ponder – 4.0 sacks, 4 tfl, 0 ff, 2 fr

    Super Bowl Tacklers (Ranked by Total Tackles)
    E Jones IV – 126 tackles, 60 solo, 4 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr
    R Spillane – 97 tackles, 48 solo, 4 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr
    D Thomas – 96 tackles, 47 solo, 10 tfl, 0 ff, 1 fr
    C Elliss – 94 tackles, 39 solo, 0 tfl, 1ff, 0 fr
    N Emmanwori – 81 tackles, 56 solo, 8 tfl, 0 ff, 0 fr
    J Gibbens – 81 tackles, 43 solo, 8 tfl, 1 ff, 0 fr

    Super Bowl DBs (Ranked by INTs)
    E Jones IV – 5 int, 7 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr
    C Bryant – 4 int, 7 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr
    J Hawkins – 4 int, 6 pd, 1 ff, 1 fr
    M Jones – 3 int, 11 pd, 0 ff, 1 fr
    R Spillane – 2 int, 5 pd, 1 ff, 0 fr
    D Kendrick – 2 int, 5 pd, 0 ff, 0 fr

    My Analysis:

    Holy Golden Boner, Knowledge Seekers! That is one even match-up!! I already have WAY more respect for the Patriots than I do the Rams and 49ers! Let’s expand that with some Special Teams Knowledge, and see if we can’t find a mis-match.

    Hmm, that provides some more clarity. But we must go deeper! We need MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE!!

    The Knowledge Tables are positively brimming with copy/pasted goodness. Anywhere the Seahawks have a strength (ex: #1 in Scoring Defense) the Patriots have a corresponding strength (#2 in Scoring Offense). Likewise, anywhere the Seahawks appear to have a “weakness” (ex: 31st in Turnovers), the Patriots have a corresponding “weakness” (19th in Takeaways). The Patriots have zero Red Highlighting, and for each statistical “mismatch” they have an All Pro player capable of rising up and splitting the difference (QB Drake Maye, Return Specialist Marcus Jones). So my Tables reveal nothing. Sorry about that, Knowledge Seekers.
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    So what is the easiest path to victory? For Seattle, it’s to get after Drake Maye (NE is 23rd in Sacks Allowed), protect Sam Darnold (SEA is 5th), and hope the Special Teams can give them an edge. And for New England, it’s to deflate the footballs and film all of our practices, like they always do, you know Vrabel remembers all those old tricks!!
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    And there you have it, SKA Family: Enough Knowledge to troll with accuracy and intelligence for the next two weeks. Whatever the results are, one thing is clear: The Seahawks will own this Division forever. This is your daily reminder. All Non-Seahawks fans, get back to work.
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    Thanks for reading, and always remember: Kill… Danny… O’neil………………….
    AUTHOR

    BKOB

    A Golden Boner Award Winning Journalist, known for his perseverance and bravery. An inspiration to us all.

    All stories by: BKOB
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